no.
i'm not tough.
no.
i'm not over it yet.
no.
i can't let go.
no.
i'm not the one i once knew.
no.
everything is just going so wrong.
suddenly i just feel so sad. i don't know what have i done wrong. or why should i be awarded all these painful punishments while i worked as hard as anyone else too? and why every good thing could just turn away so cruelly when i needed something to hold on? and why can't you see i'm really trying hard?
can you see and feel the sleepless nights i have? crying myself to sleep and force myself to forget all those wonderful things i imagined? and now those wonderful dreams turned into nightmares which haunt me not only in my sleep, but also in my life.
locked myself up in the room, stopping myself from talking to people, i'm slowly turning myself into a true loner, an anti-social.
if we all knew that things will turn out like this, then i wouldn't have tried that much - i wouldn't have dreamt that much - i wouldn't have hoped that much. if only we knew that the outcome is this, i wouldn't have given it a thought, and made it once so close to me and suddenly gone. i wouldn't have gotten myself so close, and believed that it could be my destiny.
the emptiness left just hurts so much.
if only i knew "get over it" is nothing but words to fool people, i wouldn't have stepped in in the first place and believed that it will work. if only i knew "it's okay" is something people could simply utter to anyone whom they think who needs it, then i wouldn't have been fooled.
if only i knew that one thing could change my whole life, i wouldn't have cared about other people, except ME. if only i knew how impossible it is that others will say in their words of consolation, i wouldn't let them have the chance to say those words. They just won't work!
if only i knew that it was merely a fool play from the beginning, i wouldn't have spent so much time on it. if only i knew the true meaning of impossible, i wouldn't have my feeling surrendered to you. if only i knew that i'm not meant for this, then i wouldn't have started anything from the beginning.
now i've lost more than just my dream.
hope, faith, people, believe, trust, strength, possibilities...
and the light.
please.
words could make me believe no more.
turn your face away.
keep your care inside.
step away.
and don't haunt me anymore.
i'm not tough.
no.
i'm not over it yet.
no.
i can't let go.
no.
i'm not the one i once knew.
no.
everything is just going so wrong.
suddenly i just feel so sad. i don't know what have i done wrong. or why should i be awarded all these painful punishments while i worked as hard as anyone else too? and why every good thing could just turn away so cruelly when i needed something to hold on? and why can't you see i'm really trying hard?
can you see and feel the sleepless nights i have? crying myself to sleep and force myself to forget all those wonderful things i imagined? and now those wonderful dreams turned into nightmares which haunt me not only in my sleep, but also in my life.
locked myself up in the room, stopping myself from talking to people, i'm slowly turning myself into a true loner, an anti-social.
if we all knew that things will turn out like this, then i wouldn't have tried that much - i wouldn't have dreamt that much - i wouldn't have hoped that much. if only we knew that the outcome is this, i wouldn't have given it a thought, and made it once so close to me and suddenly gone. i wouldn't have gotten myself so close, and believed that it could be my destiny.
the emptiness left just hurts so much.
if only i knew "get over it" is nothing but words to fool people, i wouldn't have stepped in in the first place and believed that it will work. if only i knew "it's okay" is something people could simply utter to anyone whom they think who needs it, then i wouldn't have been fooled.
if only i knew that one thing could change my whole life, i wouldn't have cared about other people, except ME. if only i knew how impossible it is that others will say in their words of consolation, i wouldn't let them have the chance to say those words. They just won't work!
if only i knew that it was merely a fool play from the beginning, i wouldn't have spent so much time on it. if only i knew the true meaning of impossible, i wouldn't have my feeling surrendered to you. if only i knew that i'm not meant for this, then i wouldn't have started anything from the beginning.
now i've lost more than just my dream.
hope, faith, people, believe, trust, strength, possibilities...
and the light.
please.
words could make me believe no more.
turn your face away.
keep your care inside.
step away.
and don't haunt me anymore.
show me that weak ray of Your light...
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