Breathe...breathe...breathe! *gasp for air*
Whoosh, life's been super duper busy than ever! Two major artwork done, at least! I feel a lil bit lighter but still the load of other assignments are still weighing me down. :( When is all this going to end? I know i always jokingly tell my friends "the only time we could stop working is when we're dead" (which is in fact the truth) but now i really just hope i could stop working just for a few days. I need rest! :(
Okay, i'm about to go very disorganized.... jumbled thoughts of many things.
A lot of things are bugging me lately. Talked to friends, mom...perhaps i was too busy living life, and i wasn't really living me myself.
At times, i would pause and look back, recall the things i've done, guilt and regret gushed in and engulfed me instantly. Many things i could have done, i should have done...or shouldn't have done. hmm. Trying to run away and avoid won't solve anything too right...
or is that really the right choice but you just turn the option away and refuse to believe it?
family is often the closest and nearest people you easily neglected. i'm really sorry, mom and dad. However, after the artwork project, i feel a new strong bond formed between each and everyone of us. it feels so warm, and i know it's love.
mistakes.
mistakes.
mis.
takes.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Sunday, August 29, 2010
宝贵的礼物
很久没有用华文子了。想当年，我是多么享受些华文作文/散文的。如今，简直是没有再用华文写作了。 华人啊！不可撇弃中文啊！哈哈。
今天是星期天。因为担心恩恩去joggerthon会跌倒还是什么的，所以就跟爸爸陪她一起去跑。这个joggerthon 是由华校举办的。 （详细资料，我不知道。） 一大清早就赶呀赶，冲到一中去。 爸爸先放我和恩恩在校门口，就去找停车的地方。 我就牵着恩恩的手，踏入那陌生的地方。 看到一个大婶，牵着一个女孩，心想她应该会知道要去哪里报道。
“嗨！ 请问一下，小学生组别要在哪里集合？”
唉，就是这么一段非常伤心的对话。心也快碎了。。。
Gracie and daddy.
出乎预料，恩恩的 stamina 很惊人！第三十名啊！是很厉害，很厉害的了！我都输给她了啦！或许真的是有老了一点。 （一点而已！） 不要紧，我会加紧练习，增强体力！是时候该再去游泳了。 刚刚好啊，假期快到了。 再忍一忍！
Joggerthon 过后，爸爸就带我们到咖啡店去吃早餐。 第一次和爸爸一起出去找地方吃早餐。 感觉。。。很开心，很幸福。 ：） 爸爸就点了番茄酱粿条，介绍给我吃。 蛮好吃的。 我点了我的 teh tarik。 三个人早上运动后，一起吃早餐。 ：） 感觉很不错，我很喜欢。
特别是与家人一起。
家人，永远是上帝给我们最好的礼物。 家人，是上帝特别选给我们的。 世上多么多人，而从这么多人中，我们有缘的成为了一家人。 彼此被上帝所连的缘线牵着，就是要我们互相扶持，互相关照，互相疼爱。 ：） 就算整个世界离弃了你，家人还是会在你知道的那个地方等你。 只要你懂得珍惜，你永远会知道那个地方在哪里。 所以，当我很是伤心的时候，我喜欢跟家人在一起。
不管我长得多大了，只要我有需要，我还是可以像个小孩一样回到家中。 像小孩般哭诉，要不就在哪里大哭。 有时他们并不需要知道发生了什么事，但轻声地一句安慰，仿佛再给了我力量。 不需要太多的行动，却足以医治一颗受伤的心灵。 在父母眼里，我们永远都长不大嘛。 所以，他们永远都会在那里保护我们，担心孩子在外头吃了苦，担心孩子熬不了，担心孩子扛不起。 担心得恨不得自己可以帮我们承担一切。 我很喜欢这样的家。 因为他们永远爱我，因为他们永远支持我，因为他们永远接纳我，因为他们不曾嫌弃我。。。
因为他们是无法取代的宝物。
我呢，就是要做自己。
开心的时候，我要散播快乐的种子； 伤心的时候，我也不会隐藏我的感受。
想笑的时候，我会开心的笑； 想哭的时候，我不会在你面前哭。
（怎样都好，要装坚强啊！哈哈哈！）
但真的不行时，我也不会憋着泪。
逼不得已时，我不会掩盖我一丝的情感，喜怒哀乐是正常的。
想做的，不会再犹豫。
喜欢的，会勇敢去争取。
不喜欢的，休想我去做。
但若不喜欢的，却又真的是该去做的，我。。。会尽力的。
今天是星期天。因为担心恩恩去joggerthon会跌倒还是什么的，所以就跟爸爸陪她一起去跑。这个joggerthon 是由华校举办的。 （详细资料，我不知道。） 一大清早就赶呀赶，冲到一中去。 爸爸先放我和恩恩在校门口，就去找停车的地方。 我就牵着恩恩的手，踏入那陌生的地方。 看到一个大婶，牵着一个女孩，心想她应该会知道要去哪里报道。
“嗨！ 请问一下，小学生组别要在哪里集合？”
“噢，在跑道前那里。”
“OK，谢谢你啊！”
“你也是来陪女儿跑啊？”
“Err，是跟我妹妹来的。”
“哦！不是她的妈妈。哈哈，我还以为是个这么年轻的妈妈。嘿嘿！”
=.=||| 是我有一点老啊，还是我看起来像是个早婚的少女?! T^T
唉，就是这么一段非常伤心的对话。心也快碎了。。。
Gracie and daddy.出乎预料，恩恩的 stamina 很惊人！第三十名啊！是很厉害，很厉害的了！我都输给她了啦！或许真的是有老了一点。 （一点而已！） 不要紧，我会加紧练习，增强体力！是时候该再去游泳了。 刚刚好啊，假期快到了。 再忍一忍！
Joggerthon 过后，爸爸就带我们到咖啡店去吃早餐。 第一次和爸爸一起出去找地方吃早餐。 感觉。。。很开心，很幸福。 ：） 爸爸就点了番茄酱粿条，介绍给我吃。 蛮好吃的。 我点了我的 teh tarik。 三个人早上运动后，一起吃早餐。 ：） 感觉很不错，我很喜欢。
特别是与家人一起。
家人，永远是上帝给我们最好的礼物。 家人，是上帝特别选给我们的。 世上多么多人，而从这么多人中，我们有缘的成为了一家人。 彼此被上帝所连的缘线牵着，就是要我们互相扶持，互相关照，互相疼爱。 ：） 就算整个世界离弃了你，家人还是会在你知道的那个地方等你。 只要你懂得珍惜，你永远会知道那个地方在哪里。 所以，当我很是伤心的时候，我喜欢跟家人在一起。
不管我长得多大了，只要我有需要，我还是可以像个小孩一样回到家中。 像小孩般哭诉，要不就在哪里大哭。 有时他们并不需要知道发生了什么事，但轻声地一句安慰，仿佛再给了我力量。 不需要太多的行动，却足以医治一颗受伤的心灵。 在父母眼里，我们永远都长不大嘛。 所以，他们永远都会在那里保护我们，担心孩子在外头吃了苦，担心孩子熬不了，担心孩子扛不起。 担心得恨不得自己可以帮我们承担一切。 我很喜欢这样的家。 因为他们永远爱我，因为他们永远支持我，因为他们永远接纳我，因为他们不曾嫌弃我。。。
因为他们是无法取代的宝物。
* * *
我呢，就是要做自己。
开心的时候，我要散播快乐的种子； 伤心的时候，我也不会隐藏我的感受。
想笑的时候，我会开心的笑； 想哭的时候，我不会在你面前哭。
（怎样都好，要装坚强啊！哈哈哈！）
但真的不行时，我也不会憋着泪。
逼不得已时，我不会掩盖我一丝的情感，喜怒哀乐是正常的。
想做的，不会再犹豫。
喜欢的，会勇敢去争取。
不喜欢的，休想我去做。
但若不喜欢的，却又真的是该去做的，我。。。会尽力的。
是谁让我想通了这些？
好像是。。。你们吧？ ：）
好像是。。。你们吧？ ：）
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Insomnia + realization
I'm drinking warm milk now. It's very unlike me!
Well, i have no choice. This is the one of the solutions i could do besides taking sleeping pills. But i would never give in to sleeping pills. I don't know why too, but i think i have sleeping disorder recently. Insomnia. O_O I'm very worried this time, i must say. This insomnia is very unusual. It's getting worse and worse each time. When i close my eyes, the brain just won't stop working! It's so frustrating, so sickening, so... torturing. :( Plus, i always have to wake up early the next day. Gosh! Please end this torment.
Lately... i've realized that my daddy is getting old. :( Many of my friends used to compliment that my dad looked so young. I used to think so too, but now... i don't think so anymore. The ageing process has left its trail apparently on his life. And i really feel bad seeing the change in him.
I started to realize, you became more absent-minded.
You forgot the outing i told you about.
Yet, i was angry that you forgot.
I'm sorry.
I started to realize, your ears are not as good as before.
You turned the radio loud so that you could listen to it.
Yet, i talked to you in an unfriendly tone to ask you to lower down the volume.
I'm sorry.
I started to realize, you are always trying your best.
You felt guilty that you forgot my outing.
It was the first time i saw you speed on the road.
But please don't do that again, it's dangerous.
And, I'm sorry.
I started to realize, you are always holding your temper.
You were not scolding me,
but i feel as if the silence had just scolded me.
I'm...sorry.
You are always so optimistic, so positive.
You never complained about the stress at work when you are back at home,
you never complained working in the garden fixing things,
you are tired when you are back from work,
but you just lied at the sofa and took quick nap.
You never really showed your care,
but in fact you care for us so much.
Dad, i feel so bad. :'(
I'm sorry that i have not been a good daughter.
But i just wanna say that, I really love you.
Not lying to anyone here, not showing off, not making this up,
but i love you, Dad.
I thank God, for you.
My father, my hero.
Well, i have no choice. This is the one of the solutions i could do besides taking sleeping pills. But i would never give in to sleeping pills. I don't know why too, but i think i have sleeping disorder recently. Insomnia. O_O I'm very worried this time, i must say. This insomnia is very unusual. It's getting worse and worse each time. When i close my eyes, the brain just won't stop working! It's so frustrating, so sickening, so... torturing. :( Plus, i always have to wake up early the next day. Gosh! Please end this torment.
Lately... i've realized that my daddy is getting old. :( Many of my friends used to compliment that my dad looked so young. I used to think so too, but now... i don't think so anymore. The ageing process has left its trail apparently on his life. And i really feel bad seeing the change in him.
I started to realize, you became more absent-minded.
You forgot the outing i told you about.
Yet, i was angry that you forgot.
I'm sorry.
I started to realize, your ears are not as good as before.
You turned the radio loud so that you could listen to it.
Yet, i talked to you in an unfriendly tone to ask you to lower down the volume.
I'm sorry.
I started to realize, you are always trying your best.
You felt guilty that you forgot my outing.
It was the first time i saw you speed on the road.
But please don't do that again, it's dangerous.
And, I'm sorry.
I started to realize, you are always holding your temper.
You were not scolding me,
but i feel as if the silence had just scolded me.
I'm...sorry.
You are always so optimistic, so positive.
You never complained about the stress at work when you are back at home,
you never complained working in the garden fixing things,
you are tired when you are back from work,
but you just lied at the sofa and took quick nap.
You never really showed your care,
but in fact you care for us so much.
Dad, i feel so bad. :'(
I'm sorry that i have not been a good daughter.
But i just wanna say that, I really love you.
Not lying to anyone here, not showing off, not making this up,
but i love you, Dad.
I thank God, for you.
My father, my hero.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
CNY eve
I'm so full~ :) Had a hearty reunion dinner at my place. It's so good to have everyone gather together again. This year i am going to treat this new year special! Just now, i took note of the whole reunion dinner. You know, the greatest thing about reunion dinner is REUNION, of course! haha! Everyone sat down together and ate. Talked, laughed... Just now the TV was on, we were all eating, some sitting on sofa, some eating in the dining room. We talked so loudly to fight the TV. It's cute and funny. If we wanted to talk, why didn't we turn off the TV? haha. Funny. Then unk was playing with his Canon dslr. *envy!* After getting bored with it, he took out his LUMIX wide screen camera, placed it in a corner of the house, recorded us! Candid shots! x) Okay, it's already very noisy now, i wonder how would i survive later. sigh. I want peace!
Was helping mom in the kitchen and doing some final cleaning. Mom was cooking while i was wiping the washed dishes. I told mom, "I feel like one of the worker at the kopitiam, sitting on the floor, with a big pail of wet plates." Mom joked, "Oh i don't think you would be working there. I believe they won't want such a slow worker like you. Hurry up and dry the plates." ...speechless...
Reunion dinner. 13 main dishes altogether.
The week before CNY, was really really. BAD. lived like a bee! :(
buzz! I really hate how busyness took over my life. :( Busy with school stuff. Gah. FIVE assignments due after CNY, ES full paper test again right after CNY, banner due...SOON. (actually is today but i think i can't finish it.) So sickening! The banner that i did, i have to REDO! And do you know how much time it took me to come out with that banner? How could they... sobs. It's not easy to do the banner! And so now, frankly speaking, I HATE DOING THE DESIGN OVER AGAIN! (Which is actually the major reason why i keep procrastinating - i just can't bring myself to do it!) Why can't they just hire someone professional to do it? What's the problem with the measurement? They didn't tell me it was not appropriate when we handed in our proposal. Sheesh! Yes, i study there. But it doesn't mean i have given my soul, my time, my energy and everything to it ok? sigh! My CNY, so-called one week holiday.
Shopping.
Gracie and i [tHe Spring, Kuching. 12/02/2010]
Preparation for CNY
Look! I removed my piano cover. :) Replaced it with a simple pink cover, and i placed the flower on top of it. Looks very neat huh. :)
Gracie, playing piano.
14th February 2010
ROAR!
and of course... VALENTINE'S DAY!
LOVE.
And as we all know. Tomorrow is not only Chinese New Year, but it's also Valentine's Day. I wonder... Hmm. (Allow me to be emo for a while. Actually, not being emo la, just telling something what i've seen and felt.)
Few nights ago, i was on the phone with a friend. We talked about this topic. Heh. Just suddenly felt like typing it out here. (erm, maybe not much of an intense feeling. I wrote something on this every valentine's day.) Alright. I don't know if this is stupid or not, but personally, i strongly feel that it's stupid. How do you know if it's worth it? A sign! Yeah, a sign. But sometimes, people are just too afraid to step forward; too reluctant to show their feelings from obscurity. Or. People are just not confident enough to make the move?
Perhaps.
So all you do is keep waiting by the phone, hoping each time the phone beeps, it's the text message from that someone; hoping each time the phone rings, it's the call from that someone. You know, sometimes, a little lie is needed to prevent ourselves from getting hurt. Maybe that's why, that person is telling you the lie. He/she doesn't want to get hurt. Hurt from? You. You just gotta feel it with your heart to find the truth behind the lies. Not all lies are meant intentionally. Sometimes, it's said just to shield ourselves.
我一直都在这里。
虽然你从不知道，但我不会走远。
只要你仔细倾听，我在为你弹琴；
只要你抬起头来，你就会看到我。
Wuiseh! I think i should change my profession to a writer, poet or something la. xD haha. Actually heard something which sounds like that recently. Can't remember everything, so i just typed out whatever i think it's about, and added in mine. Who knows i can write songs too one day? (actually i have written, a few.)
My collections.
I love this! I love the angle of this pic. :)
Thinking of love~
The purple candle is really lovely, isn't it? :)
Alright. The fireworks and the firecrackers are making loud sounds now. Gotta iron clothes then sleep. I'm tired. tired tired tired. Banner still hasn't started. sigh. I'll be tomorrow Sunday church service pianist. Actually was so busy with stuff, really a lot to do. Sigh. Next time, i will learn to say 'no' though i really have the heart to help. I really can't manage la. Rushing here and there. Running out of time. :( I . . . need a break.
This year i won't be sending CNY text messages, so i'm wishing you here. Have a prosperous tiger year. May God bless you all. Live the spirit of a tiger! ROAR!
Was helping mom in the kitchen and doing some final cleaning. Mom was cooking while i was wiping the washed dishes. I told mom, "I feel like one of the worker at the kopitiam, sitting on the floor, with a big pail of wet plates." Mom joked, "Oh i don't think you would be working there. I believe they won't want such a slow worker like you. Hurry up and dry the plates." ...speechless...
Reunion dinner. 13 main dishes altogether.The week before CNY, was really really. BAD. lived like a bee! :(
buzz! I really hate how busyness took over my life. :( Busy with school stuff. Gah. FIVE assignments due after CNY, ES full paper test again right after CNY, banner due...SOON. (actually is today but i think i can't finish it.) So sickening! The banner that i did, i have to REDO! And do you know how much time it took me to come out with that banner? How could they... sobs. It's not easy to do the banner! And so now, frankly speaking, I HATE DOING THE DESIGN OVER AGAIN! (Which is actually the major reason why i keep procrastinating - i just can't bring myself to do it!) Why can't they just hire someone professional to do it? What's the problem with the measurement? They didn't tell me it was not appropriate when we handed in our proposal. Sheesh! Yes, i study there. But it doesn't mean i have given my soul, my time, my energy and everything to it ok? sigh! My CNY, so-called one week holiday.Shopping.
Gracie and i [tHe Spring, Kuching. 12/02/2010]Preparation for CNY
Look! I removed my piano cover. :) Replaced it with a simple pink cover, and i placed the flower on top of it. Looks very neat huh. :)
Gracie, playing piano.14th February 2010
CHINESE NEW YEAR! Happy ROAR year!
ROAR!and of course... VALENTINE'S DAY!
LOVE.And as we all know. Tomorrow is not only Chinese New Year, but it's also Valentine's Day. I wonder... Hmm. (Allow me to be emo for a while. Actually, not being emo la, just telling something what i've seen and felt.)
Few nights ago, i was on the phone with a friend. We talked about this topic. Heh. Just suddenly felt like typing it out here. (erm, maybe not much of an intense feeling. I wrote something on this every valentine's day.) Alright. I don't know if this is stupid or not, but personally, i strongly feel that it's stupid. How do you know if it's worth it? A sign! Yeah, a sign. But sometimes, people are just too afraid to step forward; too reluctant to show their feelings from obscurity. Or. People are just not confident enough to make the move?Perhaps.
So all you do is keep waiting by the phone, hoping each time the phone beeps, it's the text message from that someone; hoping each time the phone rings, it's the call from that someone. You know, sometimes, a little lie is needed to prevent ourselves from getting hurt. Maybe that's why, that person is telling you the lie. He/she doesn't want to get hurt. Hurt from? You. You just gotta feel it with your heart to find the truth behind the lies. Not all lies are meant intentionally. Sometimes, it's said just to shield ourselves.
我一直都在这里。
虽然你从不知道，但我不会走远。
只要你仔细倾听，我在为你弹琴；
只要你抬起头来，你就会看到我。
Wuiseh! I think i should change my profession to a writer, poet or something la. xD haha. Actually heard something which sounds like that recently. Can't remember everything, so i just typed out whatever i think it's about, and added in mine. Who knows i can write songs too one day? (actually i have written, a few.)
My collections.
I love this! I love the angle of this pic. :)
Thinking of love~
The purple candle is really lovely, isn't it? :)Alright. The fireworks and the firecrackers are making loud sounds now. Gotta iron clothes then sleep. I'm tired. tired tired tired. Banner still hasn't started. sigh. I'll be tomorrow Sunday church service pianist. Actually was so busy with stuff, really a lot to do. Sigh. Next time, i will learn to say 'no' though i really have the heart to help. I really can't manage la. Rushing here and there. Running out of time. :( I . . . need a break.
Happy Chinese New Year to you all!
This year i won't be sending CNY text messages, so i'm wishing you here. Have a prosperous tiger year. May God bless you all. Live the spirit of a tiger! ROAR!
Plucking daisy's petals.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Sibu Trip (21.11-01.12.2009)
Just came back from Sibu today. It was a special trip, a trip for me to unwind, a trip that opened my eyes, a trip that made my heart feel a different way towards things in life.
Master Chef Restaurant, Sibu
Had an expensive, delightful and scrumptious dinner with daddy's friend. And then followed by luscious dessert. =9 Really ate to the heart's content. 3 hours man!
Apple Restaurant, Bintulu
Had dinner with Uncle William and his family when we reached Bintulu. It was a total indulgence enjoying this Coconut Pudding. Fresh and sweet.
It was till then we realized how tiny we actually are.[Uncle William's house, Bintulu]
a lonely road
The light was actually one of the chimney with radiant flame, burning with full blast, that never keep the sky lonely. Bintulu's night sky is never dark. How noisy it was up there, and how lonely it was down there. [Bintulu]
When can this stop?
It's late at night, when everyone is snoring, smiling while dreaming...the Earth is being destroyed slowly yet destructively. The factories are still working despite days and nights. 24 hours, throughout the whole year, never stop working. Emitting thick smoke which contains hazardous chemicals and harmful particles that will affect every living thing's respiratory system. They trigger Asthma. That is why, Bintulu marked one of the highest rate of Asthma in whole Malaysia. [Bintulu]
A plane.
What does it look like to you?An adult carrying a child. :)
[on the way back to Kuching]
A pleasant view. How magnificent!Thank You, Lord, for every fascinating things You created.
[Grandma's house, Sibu]
Last but not least, this trip was even memorable because the whole family spent the time together. It was really joyful sharing things, laughing at the same thing, feeling things the same way (we are connected!), teasing at each other (naughty at times), having arguments (but still different), sleeping together, squeezing each other and...LOTS! :) Have to appreciate every moment in our life and to cherish all the beautiful memories we had together.
放慢生活的舞步，
才能去欣赏身边的每一样美好景色。
才能去欣赏身边的每一样美好景色。
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