It has to be like this.

ToMrSomebody,
Whenilookatyou,sometimesiwouldfeelbadwhydidihavetomakeyousufferthatmuch.
Iknowyouaretryingtomendthingsnow,butisitnottoolate?
Iknowthisiscruel.iknowiamdoingwrongtoonow,iknowyouhaveaheart,youhavefeelings,
andtheywayithrewharshwordsatyoureallyhurtsalotright?
Timewillheal.everyonehastopayforthepriceofourownmistakes,thatistherule.
Sorrythatihurtyoubutthisisreallytheonlyway.Getusedtoit.Youwillbeokay.
IpraytoGodthatHewillalwaysbewithyou,inyourdeepestdepressionandloneliness,
HewillreachoutHiscaringandlovinghandstohugyoutight.
IpraytoGodthatHewillrevealthereasonsbehindallthissothatitwontbesopainfulforustobear.
Hewillpullthroughwithyou,sostaystrong,andmoveon.

today.

Today was bad. Had a sleepless night trying to complete everything including tonight's work, cuz i knew i won't have time so i continued doing until it was morning. Sadly, things were just bad. Feeling very frustrated, stirred, annoyed, and pressured. Guess i will have to leave the final touch up for tomorrow morning.

Stressed. i cannot squeeze my time out anymore. 

answers. answers. and answers. 

I really wish God appears here. :(

God i need you, in many many things. 

many many things.

I'm just too weak to go through all these.

What is on my mind?

Breathe...breathe...breathe! *gasp for air*

Whoosh, life's been super duper busy than ever! Two major artwork done, at least! I feel a lil bit lighter but still the load of other assignments are still weighing me down. :( When is all this going to end? I know i always jokingly tell my friends "the only time we could stop working is when we're dead" (which is in fact the truth) but now i really just hope i could stop working just for a few days. I need rest! :(

Okay, i'm about to go very disorganized.... jumbled thoughts of many things.

A lot of things are bugging me lately. Talked to friends, mom...perhaps i was too busy living life, and i wasn't really living me myself.

At times, i would pause and look back, recall the things i've done, guilt and regret gushed in and engulfed me instantly. Many things i could have done, i should have done...or shouldn't have done. hmm. Trying to run away and avoid won't solve anything too right...

or is that really the right choice but you just turn the option away and refuse to believe it?

family is often the closest and nearest people you easily neglected. i'm really sorry, mom and dad. However, after the artwork project, i feel a new strong bond formed between each and everyone of us. it feels so warm, and i know it's love.

mistakes.
mistakes.
mis.
takes.

Nosey people.

I know what i'm doing. Before you poke your nose into my life, make sure you know what actually happened first.

These few days i was suddenly fumed with anger again. Thanks to some unsolved issues. Welcome to the world, as my friend would say. There are always people who will try to pull you down. But one thing for sure is, i know what i'm doing. God knows too. And i'm not scared of whatever remarks you will throw about me. But to others, before you poke your nose into my life, start to judge if i did it wrong or bad, make sure you really know what actually happened. Stories can be fake or true, what have you heard? what have you seen? Are they true? Well, get the facts right first before you start labeling others.

Dear Lord, help me to control my emotions

so that i won't do things that upset you.