Singapore Class Trip Day 1

"Is everybody on the bus now? Good! All right, here's a quick check if you have brought all the necessary things with you. The tentative for today is, later, we will visit Marina Bay Sands first after settling down...WAIT. Can you believe it? It's TODAY. This will happen - today - later, like in a few hours!"

Yes! As I was briefing my course mates on the bus before heading to the airport, I suddenly realized what was planned on the tentative would finally happen in a few hours. After months of planning and preparation, our first international class trip was finally going to happen!

Off we go!

It's my very first time leading a big group (22 people) to Singapore and for most of them, this was their first international trip, first time landing their feet on this island.

We landed safely at Singapore Changi Airport around noon and then headed straight to our hostel, Rucksack Inn. Our hostel is located at Lavender Street near Boon Keng MRT Station or Lavender MRT Station. We paid SGD95 for our four-night stay. 

We stayed in a dorm together and sleep on bunk beds. This experience was pretty cool. I never really had the experience staying in backpackers' lodge, sharing rooms with guy friends and meeting people from other countries.

After we had the tour around Rucksack Inn, we headed to one of Singapore's landmarks - Marina Bay Sands.

Our room for those four nights.

Sitting beside the bus driver, talking to him as he drove us to our hostel.

Here we are - Marina Bay Sands.

The Merlion City :)

Heading to Gardens by the Bay.

Magnificent and beautiful view at Gardens by the Bay.

The visit to Marina Bay really drained us out. Everyone looked tired and so we headed back to the hostel. 



Not Enough.

It’s not enough. You are not good enough, not excellent enough, not rich enough, not wonderful enough, not smart enough, not obedient enough.

Things went very bad lately. Everything is like rolling a downhill. I lost my way, I lost my sense of direction – I lost myself. I just want to be lost in the nothingless. I want to escape. I want to run away. I want to hide. I want to retreat myself to a place no one could find me, no one would know me. I want to be all alone, even though I hate to be alone. I just want to be with myself, and no one else.

Why do I have so many doubts in my life all of a sudden? Why everything just does not seem to be OK? This went wrong, that went wrong. EVERYTHING went wrong.

Today I realized how rotten I am. I am such a rotten person deep within. I have been the worst version of myself today. Never in my life I was this out of control. My pride, my wounded heart, misunderstanding – everything – mixed and there it went – a huge explosion! I could not control myself. I woke up at the wrong side of the bed after having a scary dream where I lost my everything in the dream. I was in a foul mood, nothing seemed right from the beginning of the day. I could not understand why I was behaving so badly. I’m really a stinky and rotten girl.

After what happened, I just can’t help it but to really look down on myself. Is this really me? Beneath that thin layer of appearance, is this really me? Nasty. Stinky. Ugly. Extremely disgusting.

I wish I could be a little bit more dispassionate in dealing with troubles in life. I wish I would be more understanding.

I wish I was cared for a little more. Despite the strong character I built, I’m actually vulnerable deep within. Despite being seen as the independent lady who organizes many things, I wanted to be dependent on someone. There are times when I just need to put down my strong self, and be a little girl who needs shelter and protection. I need someone to ask me at the end of a rough day, “How was your day?” or give me a lil dose of encouragement “I think you have done really well today.” Over time, I’ve gotten really tired being strong and trying to do everything myself. I just need someone to see that I need help too, and perhaps, your attention.

Some random thoughts I typed while I was having my me-day. 

Things haven't gotten any better. I wish to get well soon. 

Dear self,

please, start to work!!!

I would always...spend 1 hour stressing myself out and tensing myself up...
Another 1 hour to only start looking at the work, then i would think of how impossible it is...
another 1 hour to slowly draft my plan out, doing, sighing, building up the momentum...
another 1 hour to finally get the momentum going...
by that time.......... I would have not enough time to complete my work.
ARGH. this . is . so . stressful.

To love at all...is to be vulnerable.

Image taken from zenpencils.

The full version of this quote, taken from Lewis’s book, The Four Loves, reads:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

identity crisis.

After weeks of dwelling in this phase of life, i'm ready to share it here. Perhaps, this would help me in seeing things clearer. Writing always helps me to lay out my issues and see things clearly. So...here it goes!

identity crisis [noun]
a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person's sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society.

This is exactly what i am facing and experiencing now. Here are the problems: I recently find myself keep thinking that i am too imperfect, i have no confidence, i'm slacking off, i'm becoming worse, and i just don't fit in anywhere anymore! I constantly find myself doubting the things i am/was (see i am not even sure of it myself!) interested in. I seem to be too absorbed in finding who i really am until i really lost myself. Errr, does that make any sense to you?

I think becoming a twentysomething does affect me, a little. I begin to feel the burden of the responsibilities I carry on my shoulder and I am more aware of every little and big action I do. And most of the time, i wondered if i was really doing what i should do, with what i have, at where i am, to the right people. 

I feel burnt out and find myself ranting all the time over busyness, busyness, and busyness. Commitments. Duties. I need to learn how to reorder my priorities so that I won't wear myself down. Many times, I found myself feeling so exhausted after tonnes of work. Giving tuition classes is really a heavy duty on me as I have to sacrifice and sometimes squeeze out my time for them. Can I really take it? If i cannot do it, i should say no. I think it might take me years or forever to learn to say 'no'.

I also become more sensitive of my appearance. Usually girls experience this during teenage hood, but apparently mine comes later. Oh well~ Anyway, I have a very negative self-image. Most of the time i see myself as ugly. I sighed and felt sad looking at the pretty clothes in my wardrobe. An increase of 1kg would freak me out. I crave for exercises. Real sweating exercises so that it could help me release endorphin which will make me happy. Sadly, it's been raining almost every evenings and i couldn't go enjoy tennis. This is sad. 

Next is...SELF-CONFIDENCE! My self-confidence shrunk! I used to be very confident. Ah, how much i miss the Agnes last time and her great self-confidence. I wish i could become her again. I realized i value myself too lowly. I think about myself as being really small, as being someone not important. Also, I doubt my capabilities. I doubt even the things that I am good at. I doubt if i was meant to be a teacher. I doubt if i could do my job well. Things didn't turn out as i thought and i start to judge and evaluate myself. Is this really for me?

When I meet someone, I become over self-conscious, I am very concerned over how others would look at me. Would they talk to me and feel that I have nothing special in me and get disappointed because I don't measure up to their expectation? Was I doing things the right way? Will it push other people away? Am I good enough? So I became overly careful with the way I bring myself. I tensed up, and when I tensed up, I was not being myself anymore, and things got even worse. 

When I reflect on myself these few months, I really see the impact of my slowly disappearing self-confidence. What has gone wrong? Is it because the strikes of reality that make me aware of the many many imperfections i have in me? Or is it actually because i was over confident last time? Why did my self-confidence desert me? 

My best friend said, "Be happy, be beautiful, be confident". Every word penetrates right through me and wakes me up. I seriously need to collect my self-confidence back. I need to practise my charm - the unspoken aura that comes from within. I need to know and acknowledge my own worth. I need to think I am good, special, and unique in my very own way. I need to appreciate my talents - they are wonderful gifts from God. Why do I have to try so hard to please everyone else? I just have to be the Agnes at her very best. Don't just sparkle, shine! Let your confidence shine and that is the best and most powerful possession i could ever have. I am awesome, capable, and beautiful. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

Yes! My Creator made me the way He wants me to be. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I declare that His works are wonderful - and that means I am wonderful too because He made me. I need to start to learn to look at myself differently. My Father God sees me and smiles and thinks I am wonderful. I need to look at myself through God's eyes.

Don't just be yourself;

Be the BEST VERSION of yourself.

Missing...

My mind has lots of things which i want to share. However, when i opened this page, i didn't know where to start off with, or which to write.

Okay, i will just be honest and...share what is on my mind...

I miss this...

The little hill top.

I'm awesome me!

Awesome is not awesome without me.

You must first believe that you can make it!

Once in a while, you would need a little boost of confidence, a little push to go even further. So, here I am, cheering myself to keep going on! I know this sounds crazy, but yeah... Sometimes, that little boost of confidence, that little push, that little affirmation, that little motivation, should come from you yourself!

I want to just take a few minutes, to praise myself for how awesome I have been! I'm currently having my precious, precious holiday...and everyone knows that my holidays are never free! Perhaps it's me, I would go crazy if i were to idle around and do nothing - i just need to occupy myself with things to do. And when I do that, I'm complaining my life is too packed. 

In this holiday, I have
(a) two assignments to complete
(b) practicum files which i need to keep up-to-date
(c) tennis
(d) meet ups with friends
(e) tidy my stuff
(f) Vanessa's tuition
(g) Form 1 History tuition
(h) outings
(i) one novel to finish
(j) pupils' work which i need to tidy, file up, decorate and display
(k) next week's lesson plans to plan and teaching aids to make

Wow wow wow...

How can i manage all?
So far so good, but honestly, i'm almost worn down! :(
Holiday is coming to an end...
And, right now, i feel giddy when I try to stand up or just look at things around me.

Father God, hold me before I break... 

Let me draw strength from You...

Saying "I love you"...

"I love you"

The three most overused, misunderstood, & misused words.

When, where, why, how and to whom you would say these three words to? Have they been such overly used words that they actually lose their meaning? You say them to a random someone as how you randomly mean them? Why did you take away the valuable meaning behind these three beautiful words? 

'Guys use it like rags and girls desire it like gold.'

Is that it? "I love you" sounds so meaningless. I'm not being a dreamy girl who over fantasises about love but I never ever once think that "I love you" should be taken for granted. To me, "I love you" comes with a commitment. "I love you" is not your hello-s nor goodbye-s unless the person you say to means something to you. 

You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. 

I don't know about others, in my opinion, no matter how westernized someone is, "I love you" should be used with care and good purpose. Never say them when you don't mean it at all, especially when you use them to banter with opposite sex. I personally feel guys who use these three words a lot without meaning them are just so cheap. Call me old-fashioned, but i do feel there are a lot more other better expressions in the English language which are more suitable and appropriate to use rather than "I love you". 

Guys, in particular, should be more careful with the use of these three words. They can either magically heal or devastatingly hurt the girls. If you don't mean anything, don't use them too often that you might send the wrong signals or you might actually degrade yourselves when other people look at the way you interact with girls. Never take "I love you" for granted - you don't mean what you say, but the ones receiving it don't read your minds. So you really can't blame it fully on girls who take "I love you" seriously and get your message wrong at the end of the day. 

Why not save them for the right person who deserve them the most?

Keeping those three words until the moment you say it to the person you truly love and who truly deserves those three words - how wonderful and beautiful that would be! It would be so meaningful as those words are saved for the person. You wouldn't find a compliment meaningful to you when you know it has been going around everywhere to anyone before it comes to you, would you? And if you compare, having received a compliment that is only for you, how wonderful it would make you feel? 

So, guys and girls, save your "I love you" to the ones who truly deserve it, and to the ones you really mean it to.

A disturbed mind.

Lord, my mind is so disturbed recently.
There are too many thoughts and feelings jumbled up on my mind.
How much i wanted to get rid off those...
I've tried hard but to no avail.

Lord, I've made so many mistakes.
Will You still forgive me and love me, Lord?
Can I still be a brand new person and embrace a brand new chance, Father?
I can't help but to sometimes think that all these i'm experiencing now are because of my own mistakes.

Lord, I feel so ashamed thinking about my past.
All the childish things that I've done,
all the unthoughtful words that I've uttered,
all the disobedient moments I had with You.

I feel so daunted by the future.
I can't figure out where I am standing now and where I will be heading to.
I wish to see clear signs or even a revelation,
I want them so clear that I am very sure that I am on the right path.
But why do I feel so afraid now?

I need an affirmation.
I need encouragement.
I need You to tell me it's all right.
I need a hug, or even a touch will do.
I need to feel Your presence.
I need to embrace in You and feel Your warm peace flowing in my heart.

Lord, what are the messages behind these mess this time?
Please show me. Break me if You need to.
Father, I need You.
I need You to make me whole.

This feeling of being lost in nowhere is terrifying.
Choices, mistakes, people, commitments...
Lord, teach me how to face all these.
Lord, guide me so that I could confront them.

Soul-searching, self-reevaluating...

Yes! This is another night where i just couldn't help but feeding myself with unhealthy and heart-breaking activities and making myself getting very very emotional. Sigh! This was what I would do when I had too much time, huh? Perhaps lil Vanessa should come for tuition tonight, or perhaps, i should have gone out and hang out with my girlfriends. Any perhaps but sitting in front of the laptop, eyes glued on the screen, reading and reading some not-so-important-matters. And in the end, i got so stirred up and i'm suddenly feeling so low. 

When I first started blogging, i used to pour everything (and trust me, i mean everything - even the most random thing!) into the blog. I wrote everything that i felt. But then I stopped as I grew slightly more mature. I started to believe that writing feelings out was something very childish, and only emo people would do it. Also, i believed that it somehow proved a negative character of a person or his capabilities to handle and manage problems. And at times, i thought it seemed pathetic as if i had no one to talk to that i'm talking, wait, it's not even talking, that i'm typing it out to a *pause* non-living thing. But i would say NO to that idea again, for now. Venting it out in blogs is therapeutic! Well, for me, I must admit I'm not a very verbal person, my thoughts are more composed when I write them out. Of course I do talk things out and I enjoy doing that, just that somehow it is only effective when I'm talking to the right person. Anyway, so now, I'm back and I still believe in typing things out, documenting every part of my life. After all, this blog is rather private so I suppose I would feel safe here to let out my inner thoughts, any of my confusion, my fear, my worries, my silly dreams, my embarrassing moments...anything.

Isn't it scary that you let go of your confidence just because of the false negative judgements you have on yourself? Worse is, those judgements are made based on how others perceive you, or even what you think others would think of you. Where is your self-worth? You are worth so much more, my dear. However, gaining back the confidence after losing it can take quite some time, and great effort, and constant boost of positive-ness. I need to gain back my confidence! I need to be the confident Agnes back!

I believe i look good. Thus, I am good, and i can be good!

Another thing which frustrates me is that I really never learn to say "NO". I'm always very interested in everything and want to be part of as many things as i could. Yes, I do benefit from participating actively in meaningful activities, but at the same time, i am also wearing myself down. I always forgot the fact that I am a human - a human with flesh, a human with limitations. I guess I've always had the picture of an Iron Woman or some octopus-like wonder woman, or  someone who can split herself when I try to imagine myself. 

Practice saying 'no'. No, no, no...

So the over-ambitious thought of what I could do and what I want to do always brings along with it unnecessary stress and sacrifice of my precious free time. And all these will later become my complaints. 

What's bugging me now?

I've agreed to help out as an adjudicator for Swinburne debate competition tomorrow. It will be a Saturday, and it's the Saturday, the break, i have been longing for for the whole week. I am not sure if i have made the wise decision of spending my whole Saturday there. Well, i hope I would be able to learn something from it as well. I think I will be bringing my camera and perhaps record some sessions to show to my students. Since I have already agreed, I would better just make the best of it. :) Be positive, yes? 

Next, is of course, my Scheme of Work, lesson plans, journal entry, teaching aids...which have to be completed by the end of this weekend. *scream* And i don't really have time. Seriously, why did I make myself so busy with so many things? (See, there goes the complaints.) SIGH! Well, i guess it's another not-enough-rest weekend for me! Embrace it, Aggy!

Then...is that. But i won't elaborate much here. 

Hrmmm. That's all for this post. Feeling slightly better, even though nothing has been solved yet, but at least i've got the attitude fixed. Blogging does help. 

OKAY~ 

A beautiful tomorrow awaits me!

lingering thoughts...

I really dislike it when i delay sprinkling my thoughts here and finding it difficult to type what i wanted to record down in this blog. Anyway, some of the thoughts which keep lingering on my mind:

I want to stop humiliating myself by all the stupid thoughts and actions. 

I must be more independent. 

I must be an emotionally and spiritually strong lady.

I want to be better.

I am not weak, and you can't hurt me. 

I will fight through it strongly!

Keep shining, but don't get burned out.
Keep believing, but don't dream too much.

Yes, you can accomplish so much more than this.
Yes, you deserve so much more than this.

Keep loving, even though it hurts.
Keep doing, even though it seems the same.
Keep hoping, even though there ain't a clue. 
Keep giving, but know that there's a limit.

One day, God will reveal the reasons
and everything will be crystal clear.

Down, down, down.

These few days, insomnia really tortured me. My dear brain kept thinking of a lot of things, things in the past, things happening, and things yet to happen. Oh why can't it at least rest for awhile? I have been an emotional wreck these few days. Not much of moodswings as I have always been at the really low point. I jog a lot these few days (even after tennis training) so that I would drain myself out and have a goodnight sleep. I always have this personal belief that sweating is therapeutic because as I sweat, my problems leave my body too.

I have been feeling really down, depressed, dejected, tiny, far and out of reach lately. Things just never seem to go right. All the positive energy in me deserted me, my enthusiasm evaporated into thin air. I'm deflated.

So right now it's just a very depressing moment in life as a result of strings of emotional issues, annoyance and over-thinking... Yes! I over-think, most of the time! Do not worry - I may be very down right now, and everything may seem bad and sad, but I will pull through this, I will march on with greater confidence, resilience and courage! I won't dwell in this misery and depression for too long. Life rolls on; there's no use giving too much attention to this down part of life. Things will eventually, and always get better. Once this storm is over, the sun will come out shining with hope again. It's just a phase in life which I have to go through. 

I know I will be able to shine again! It's like an epiphany appearing at the end of torment. Thanks to my over-thinking, I begin to see things clearly, the picture is starting to form. I was so engrossed in chasing other things, but no, why chase for them when I have better things to change here. I will share more in the next entry. I'm physically and mentally drained out, I will retire early for the day. Finally! I will have a sound sleep tonight! :)

The Time of My Life

Another wonderful, insightful, thought-provoking, inspiring and magical book by my favourite author, Cecelia Ahern! I really love her books. Her books never fail to let me enjoy the simple yet wonderful joy of reading. I finished reading this book last Monday, but I wasn't free to write about it. I wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings after reading it.

Here is the synopsis:

Lucy Silchester has an appointment with her life – and she’s going to have to keep it.

Lying on Lucy Silchester’s carpet one day when she returns from work is a gold envelope. Inside is an invitation – to a meeting with Life. Her life. It turns out she's been ignoring it and it needs to meet with her face to face.

It sounds peculiar, but Lucy’s read about this in a magazine. Anyway, she can’t make the date: she’s much too busy despising her job, skipping out on her friends and avoiding her family.

But Lucy’s life isn’t what it seems. Some of the choices she’s made – and stories she’s told – aren’t what they seem either. From the moment she meets the man who introduces himself as her life, her stubborn half-truths are going to be revealed in all their glory – unless Lucy learns to tell the truth about what really matters to her.

(Taken from Cecelia Ahern's webpage.)

"Are you taking your life for granted?"

Well, honestly I would say that most of the time, I took my life for granted. Comforting and lying to myself that "it's only for this time" never solve the problem. This gets worse especially when I get busy. Too busy for myself! Too busy until I could hardly breath! This gruelling schedule is suffocating! Do they sound familiar? Sometimes we really need to stop being so busy, pause, and pay attention to all the good things/people we missed out along the way. Our life isn't just about ourselves. Our lives include our beloved ones, friends, and family too. Often I took them for granted, especially my family, when I got so tied up with the activities I was involved in, or in other people. Well, this book is certainly a wake-up call for me to stop taking my life for granted. Stop neglecting life.

Find someone who is interested in your life. 

Be with someone who is not only just interested in you, your ability, your physical characteristics, your personalities. If a person really loves you, he or she will be interested in your life. Afterall, our life is what makes us, our life is what we constantly fall back on, our life is what defines us. How can someone not be interested in your life yet claims to be interested in you. So if you love someone, know more about the person, know his or her life, accept his or her life, love his or her life, and be part of his or her life.

Final words from the book:

As long as you're around, your life is too. So just as you shower love and affection and attention on the husbands, wives, parents, children and forever friends who surround you, you have to do so equally with your life, because it's yours, it's you, and it's always there rooting for you, cheering you on, even when you feel like you can't do it.

I gave up on my life for a while, but what I've learned is that even when that happens and especially when that happens, life never gives up on you. Mine didn't. And we'll be there for each other until those final moments when we will look at each other and say, "Thanks for staying until the end."

Very beautiful and heart-warming! I give it 10 out of 10!

Confused.

Signs? Or what? It's so confusing.
You are attracted, yet you are scared.

I hate it to catch myself murmuring to myself "It's stupid" too often recently.

How hard it is to wait patiently for Your time, Father God.
Teach me to wait for You.
Hold and guard my heart.

Hurt me as you like.

Today has been an utterly depressing day. 

Storm, raging deep within me. Frustration. Questions. Unfathomable issues.  Feeling deeply lost. Reluctance to make any change. 

I wanted to confide into someone, but who? Allow me to just pour it out in here. Everything happened today (or long accumulated until today) hurts me a lot. What is wrong? What has gone wrong? Why is the most familiar place the place that gives you the numbest feeling? Why is the most comforting place the place that rubs more salt to your fresh, raw wounds? Why are the people whom you cast your hope and trust to, stab you repeatedly?

If you ask me how i feel now, i would say, I'm tired, tired, and really tired.

I'm tired of this meaningless game. And childish actions. I'm tired of the superficial goodness by the name of it. I haven't eaten a proper meal since this morning. I didn't even feel like doing anything today. All i did the whole day was to escape. Escaping from the harsh and ugly truth? Perhaps.

I will fight.

The more you said i can't do anything, the more i will fight on. 

I will be independent. I will have my own way of handling things.
And i won't let anything stop me.

Yes, you can hurt me, but you can't beat me down and make me stop.

A day well spent!

Yes, it's just another day in the holidays, but it's really a well spent day! I feel like I've accomplished so much today.

I started the day with a morning date with my love. It's been raining in the evenings so I thought mornings would be a better time of the day to maintain the intimacy level between my love and I. ♥ The weather was just perfect this morning, not too hot. Even though I did my warming up this morning before playing, my shoulder still hurt when I play. This is bad, I can't afford to skip my trainings now, the tournament is in two weeks!

After a satisfying morning exercise, I pampered myself with a facial mask. Yeah, I read somewhere that we should first learn to love ourselves before we could love others. We often pay too much attention on others instead of ourselves. After lunch, I dated myself out. Agnes and I went hunting for gifts for Father's Day. I wanted to get my Superhero something; it's been a long time since I last bought or gave my dad something. Also, I wanted to get some good quality cotton socks for Gracie. 

Shopping is never a problem for me. It's something I enjoy doing! The shopping mall was rather empty today and it made me feel like I was really alone in there. It has been quite a while since I last shopped for men's gifts. I bought my dad a collared shirt as he always wears one. However, it's really a shame because I think I've bought the shirt one size bigger. I didn't even know what size of the shirt my dad should be wearing! I hope it's not too big for him. Besides the shirt, I also bought him 3 pairs of new socks for working. I saw many really beautiful dresses. They are to die for! I had my purse kept tightly and safely in my bag and resisted the temptation of buying any new dress. But they are to die for! I need to start saving money and controlling my expenditure wisely. They are really to die for!

Enjoying my marking.

I spent my the rest of my evening marking my students' essays and preparing for the tuition class after talking to mom. She was a little unhappy that I bought milk tea again. Yes, mom, i know. It's just a once-in-a-while's indulgence, I promise. :) 

As a tuition teacher, I really want my students to learn more than what school can offer and most importantly, to improve. I feel the pressure in carrying out this responsibility because I'm paid by the parents to help teach and guide their children. Of course, apart from that, I want them to make the best of this opportunity - to have someone (although not a very qualified person) to help them in learning. I didn't attend any English tuition classes back then so I always think that attending tuition classes is something extra, a support in learning. Therefore, I don't want them to waste it and I really hope at least I could help them ease the struggles in learning English. I really hope I'm doing enough and that I'm doing it the right way. 

Making notes of the mistakes students made in their essays.

So this is what I have tried out. While marking, I would jot down the mistakes they made. Apart from that, I also included some good examples of the sentence structures I found in their essays. Before the tuition class started, I conducted a "Post Mortem" where everyone would look at these problems together. I told them it didn't matter who made the mistakes; the important thing is, we all learn together from each other's mistakes and avoid them in our writing. By doing so, everyone is learning more than their own mistakes. This is indeed a more effective way! I'm planning to adopt this method and I'm really looking forward to see incredibly positive changes slowly taking place! Awesome idea from an experienced friend! 

FINALLY!!!

Yes! FINALLY! This student submitted his weekly journal! I really appreciate his effort even though it is just a paragraph. I see it as a big step forward - a great start! Looks like my constant reminders worked! "Did you write your weekly journal" and "Remember to write your weekly journal"... I have been saying those to him everytime he came for tuition class, and even in church! My persistence paid off! I won't ask for too much for now, one paragraph a week would be a good start for him. I made it a point of writing weekly journal (It can be about anything, and yes i mean anything!) for all of them because I want this to be their habit. When writing becomes a habit, the ideas will flow easily and smoothly. Once writing has become their habit, next I would like to inculcate the love for reading. I realized that they don't read much. Or is it the younger generation nowadays don't read that much anymore? 

After the tuition class, I had my supper! My aunt is staying over here tonight so we had supper! Food, glorious food!!! Yeah, so much of exercising and keeping an ideal weight when I just love eating so much. *guilt seeps in* Well, I would need to do some light exercise after this! Tomorrow, I have to go to the General Hospital for my check up and to collect my blood test result. Need to hit the sack soon!

"Out of sight, out of mind".... Is it true? 

Anyway...

Thank You, Father God, for a wonderful day!

Hoping tomorrow will be another good day!

Holidays!...so far.

Holidays! Who wouldn't love holidays? I do love holidays, especially holidays that come right after the hectic and packed lecture days. That will be the perfect break I need to chill, enjoy, relax and to recharge. I planned for a very adventurous holiday, with lots of challenging outdoor activities, meet ups and sports. However, my first two weeks of holidays were quite the opposite of what I have planned. I didn't have much of adventures (well, except for riding on a big bike!). 

First week, I was the workaholic who worked day and night! I gave tuition every morning and sometimes in the afternoon or at night. I was like the most hardworking (or the craziest) teacher who works during holidays just to make more money. So, my first week was all about working!

Second week, I was off from working as the little girl went to Singapore for family vacation. Yay, I got to rest, at least. However, it was really boring as I had nothing very fun to do, no one to go out with. It's really sad when you were free and everyone else was busy or not available. So, to kill the boredom, I spent most of my time reading during the day and I went for tennis trainings in the evenings. I thought second week was quite okay as it's well balanced with the sport I love. Reading kept me occupied during the day. I have read two novels so far in these two weeks! I really enjoyed the stories. Well, undeniably, reading is therapeutic, and is extremely good for the mind and soul!

Some books are simply magical.

Thankfully, there were also a few events happened in these two weeks which perked up my holidays - at least, it's not that boring! First, I finally gave bowling a try! However, I broke my thumb nail!! Ouch! Still, I managed to get the second highest score (not because of beginner's luck)! Bowling was actually fun. Second, hang outs! It was good to finally hang out with close friends. Third, I met a new friend and we hung out a few times, and he's a very interesting person. My first impression of him: he has a very professional demeanour, he is a very knowledgeable, charismatic and successful man with a well established career. I met him during the ELT Conference in May. At first, I was really tensed when meeting him. After going out with him for a few times, I find him a very warm and fun person to hang out with. He took me on his big bike when we went out. It was my first time on a big bike! COOL! It was rather scary at first but I found it really cool and I enjoyed the attention from other road users when we were vrooming on the road. We went for "The Nyonya" play, breakfast, reading at Bing!, and jogging. Yeah, thanks for saving me from boredom! :)

These few days, I have been indulging in good foods with my close friends as they are back and free to hang out. Good foods and friendship are certainly a perfect combination! It feels really good to finally have some quality time spent together with friends, and catching up on each other's life. 

Chilling at Bing!

I had a great time at Bing! tonight with Ruby. We talked about all the wonderful, fun and crazy things we did while we were in secondary school. Those were the best time in life. Aaaah, reminiscing the good old times! I had forgotten I actually wrote the lyrics of a song for her to compose until she reminded me of that. We should really do more next time. Well, when the muse strikes me, i would definitely write something. Then we also talked about relationships, future career, dreams, faith... I really enjoy hang outs, I see it as a kind of reflection of life and it helps me to pause and look back at how far i have come, and what it is that i want to achieve in the present and future. It gives me a clearer picture of what I already have in my life, and what i want in my life. :)

矛盾的心跳

隧道

 

時間一分一秒 心情像白雲 自在的飄

獨自坐在公園一角 任憑風衝進懷抱

十二點的鐘聲 傳遍了城市每條街道

期待擁抱 又害怕會被你知道

到底是要遠遠看你 還是靠近一點更好

我不確定 你是不是 我一直要找的主角

我用騙人的祈禱 騙自己我現在很好

和你在一起的每分每秒 就像走過 彩虹隧道

時間一分一秒 同一座城市相互尋找

獨自坐在公園一角 看著雨後的青草

十二點的鐘聲 傳遍了城市每條街道

有誰知道 我現在矛盾的心跳

到底是要遠遠看你 還是靠近一點更好

我不確定 你是不是 我一直要找的主角

我用騙人的祈禱 騙自己我已經看到

忐忑不安的背後是微笑 是我們的 彩虹隧道

幻想不停圍繞 它很美也很煎熬

我卻無法選擇 要或不要

到底是要遠遠看你 還是靠近一點更好

我不確定 你是不是 我夢中見過的主角

我用騙人的祈禱 騙自己你沒有看到

陽光底下我的心像羽毛 跟你飛過 彩虹隧道

This song speaks my heart!!!