lingering thoughts...

I really dislike it when i delay sprinkling my thoughts here and finding it difficult to type what i wanted to record down in this blog. Anyway, some of the thoughts which keep lingering on my mind:

I want to stop humiliating myself by all the stupid thoughts and actions. 

I must be more independent. 

I must be an emotionally and spiritually strong lady.

I want to be better.

I am not weak, and you can't hurt me. 

I will fight through it strongly!

Keep shining, but don't get burned out.
Keep believing, but don't dream too much.

Yes, you can accomplish so much more than this.
Yes, you deserve so much more than this.

Keep loving, even though it hurts.
Keep doing, even though it seems the same.
Keep hoping, even though there ain't a clue. 
Keep giving, but know that there's a limit.

One day, God will reveal the reasons
and everything will be crystal clear.

Fourth Post of the Year!

I was tossing and turning in bed and i just couldn't sleep despite how physically drained out i was. I seriously need some rest!

So instead of wasting my time, i woke up and planned to start my assignments. However, my brain shut off the minute i saw the articles which i need to read. And i can't remember why after browsing awhile i ended up here, at this long abandoned blog. I took a quick look at all the posts i've written in this blog and these entries have certainly stirred me more and gave me a huge dose of nostalgic feeling. Wow...just how fast time flies! 

I'm glad that everything has come to end. I'm proud of myself that i made the first move to end it. No more looking back into the past! Now, i deserve a new life. :) In fact, i love the way how life is now. I'm actually looking ahead with HOPE. Looking forward to God's PROMISES!

From today onwards, i just want to set my eyes on God and wait upon His time. I will wait for Him to reveal every part of my life according to His time. I don't want to rush in things, I want to do it step-by-step with God, i want to do it right this time.

Believing is seeing!

"God is good all the time, even when it doesn't look like it."

Faith is a journey, a bumpy road at times where we embrace what we can't understand and believe what we can't see. Faith is like following an invisible thread. Trusting Him more today than you did yesterday. If you can't understand, just keep following. Though it may be dark now, you will see that eventually He has led you out of the hard times. 

Sorry for the disappearance for quite sometime. Ever since the trip, i haven't had time to really update this blog. There were a few times where i had the strong urge to sprinkle something on this blog but i forgot why it didn't happen. Anyway, holiday was awesome. Experienced many things, opened my eyes to many things i haven't been paying attention to before, and learned to treasure more things in life. Thank You, God, for this wonderful and meaningful holiday. :) I would definitely talk about my holidays here if i have the time. We'll see how it goes!

This is today's article summary. It was super enlightening and motivating! It's so easy to lose faith when we doubt, or when the situation seems doubting. Yet, it is very important to keep holding on to that invisible thread of faith - even when you can't see it, even when you can't see why you have to keep believing - that is exactly the only thing you should do when you doubt.

"Let us step into the darkness and reach out for the hand of God. The path of faith and darkness is so much safer than the one we would choose by sight." George MacDonald.

Believing is seeing.

Hello 2013! 

What a lifted spirit to kick-off the year! Woots!

God loves you and i and everyone! 

Holiday #11

天父啊！你名何其美，你荣耀彰显于天，
当我看你手所造的天，还有月亮和星宿。
我就说主我算什么，你竟顾念我，
叫我比天使微小一点，又赐我尊贵
荣耀为冠冕，派我掌管你所造的万物。

天父啊！你名何其美，你慈爱溢满天地，
当我看你手所造的地，还有花草和万兽。
我就说主我算什么，你竟顾念我，
我能为你做什么事，教我如何来，
回报你大爱，主啊，你名何其美在全地。

美丽又尊贵的大爱

看到如此绽炫美丽的夕阳，我看到这创造者的大能，恩惠和爱。不禁使这首优美的诗歌（取自大卫王的诗篇）在我脑海中，心怀中荡漾。

天父上帝的爱。。。如此美丽！如此尊贵！

我们也应该用一生来回报主的深厚大爱。

我们的天父上帝时时刻刻顾念我们，真的真的很爱我们。


P/s: 请包涵我这已 “生锈” 的中文。

Holiday #2

It's just the second day of holiday and i'm already soo drained out! I didn't do much today but yes, i AM exhausted. 

Today we had a final gathering for this semester before everyone went back home. It was good to be in the chapel again. :) It's was even re-assuring to hear sharing from brothers and sisters in Christ. Two of my seniors did extremely well in exam. One thing which struck me after the sharing: "If you honour God, God will honour you". It's very true - - God sees our heart! I wish i could be like them too. But i feel like these few semesters, as the lecture method changed, i feel like i've become lazier. :( I gotta work harder next sem!

The whole afternoon was spent with Miley. We had some quality chatting time, and did a lil shopping. Before sending Miley to her uncle's house, i brought her to grotto to pray. It is the place i love so much cuz i always feel peaceful there. That was also a place where many fervent prayers were lifted up. Come to think of it, i haven't visited that place for quite some time too. After praying, Miley said it was really good, she felt so peaceful, so joyful. WOW! Praise the Lord! :)

Tonight, I actually wanted to sleep early today but i received a call and a friend of mine asked me to go out of the house. I saw him waiting at the gate with presents. After receiving the presents, i felt, and feel terribly bad. I really don't want him to do so much. :( He even handmade something...it's like...i really can't take those, and i don't want to. But i guess as i've already grown older in age, and i begin to feel reluctant to reject people straight away as i understand how hurt it will. On the other hand, to just ignore it will hurt him equally bad too as he won't know my clear signal. I just need the courage to break his heart, i guess. :/

That's all for today.

Seriously need to recharge.

Tears...to JOY!

Did one of the craziest things during study week. 1130pm, felt sleepy so headed to the bed. On the bed, i continued reading my novel before the real sleepiness set in....but ended up, spending the whole night until almost dawn reading and crying (and it's like crying really badly, and at some of the point it was hard to stop). Stopped then cried as the sad part appeared, stopped and cried... What a night of tears!

Then the wonderful thing is this morning i woke up to chirping of birds! Feel so wonderful despite the awful night (which i can't explain why i was so emotional, perhaps kinda related the characters to some people around me). 

In short, it reminded me how sad last night was and how beautiful the morning is today! From tears to JOY! It's another beautiful day given by God. 

Are you breathing?

If yes, GIVE THANKS! 

And live today to the fullness, live it as a gift to God.

1st Week of Holiday

Holiday is always nice! Wheehee!
Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai! :)

Well, just a review of the past semester. :) Here i go.

For this semester, wow...give thanks to the Lord!!! Tears and pain, joy and laughter, ups and downs... He stretched me and made me grow even wiser. :) Who's your life's focus? What's your life's focus? Hrmmm. Worth to ponder on. Thanks and sorry for all. Have a great holiday! :)
*goodbye!*

That was supposed to be my last Facebook shoutout. :) And yes... am going to de-activate my Facebook. So if you read this, just to let you know from today onwards, contact me via mobile phones, email, WhatsApp, or any other alternatives...:)

True enough, this semester was like crazy. It almost drove me insane. Misunderstandings, conflicts, twisted stories here and there... Humans are really complicated... =/ At a point of time, i asked myself the most ironic question, is forgiving something wrong too? Well, it seemed like when i wanted to forgive someone, it may also make others feel bad about me. But, we have to forgive, cuz if our Father God is already such a forgiving God to forgive ALL our sins, why can't we, at least just forgive others for just ONE mistake they made? Yes, i agree, we are not God, but that's the point, if we are not God, then who are we to hold grudges against others?

Another thing would be my studies. It wasn't going on very well cuz most of the time i was very emotionally affected. :( Moreover, some of the lecture styles totally changed! How could we study with just a few pages of notes? Another thing, i am the type of person who benefits from lectures. :( But, well, at tertiary level, you were told to be independent and look for more information yourselves. However, how can we possibly do that, without a certain amount of input or guidelines so that at least we know we are on the right track, or the materials that we found would be appropriate, and so on? Hmmm. Well, still, we have the responsibility to work it out. So can't put the blame on ineffective lectures.

Well, indeed this semester has been another semester for me to stretch myself even more, and to reach to the limits and explore the world around me. It was an eye-opening semester to many things! People, things, faith, prayers, God's plans Vs human's plans...and well, really a lot of things. But really, thank God cuz i could still be here, sane, and typing some really logical things. haha. (there were some points i thought i might become mad) Well, fingers crossed, hopefully next semester would be a better one! :)

One powerful short sharing from a lecturer just the day before semester break is this:

Who are you living for? Are you living for God or people?

Typical Christians' answer: 

God, but we still live in a reality world, and we are constantly judged by others, evaluated by others, of course we have to.......blah.

NO BUT.

*a smack on the face* WOW! I could literally feel a wake up slap! This lecturer was praying for me and this super short sharing was just so wonderful and enlightening! I know, many times, when i declare that i am living for God, i still somehow evaluate myself through other people, in a way i am living to impress them, living for them. However, to say that you can't be affected by people, well, it is of course difficult. You really need a great capacity of patience. Fuuuh! Which i think from young till now, i just cannot. I care too much from the outside, i suppose. Things i do, what would people think of me if i say this, or do that... Well, really need to learn to get back on the right track!

1st week of holiday is gone... TWO more weeks to go! Yeeha! :) 

Stay strong!

Keep fighting!!

Trust in GOD!

In the midst of exam...

It's been a while. (again) 

Actually now i'm having my exam for Semester 3. Time really flies! Can't believe i'm actually here, sitting for my exam and soon, holiday - half a year is gone! Wow. It never fails to amaze me how fast and how easily things can slide when we didn't pay much attention to them. 

I don't feel like sleeping yet so here i am to sprinkle some words. Life has been... :) *smile* Whether it's good or bad, you just gotta smile and go through it strongly, right? :) I personally believe that every problem is God's plan to stretch us, mould us, or sometimes, even have to break us, so that we could be how He wants us to be. A lot of things happened this semester. Scary, unexpected, devastating and more... 

LOVE. 

I never knew a four-letter word could demand so much. So much that you really think you are no one good enough to say you love someone, or you could love someone, or, you have loved someone. 

LOVE is a big word which demands you to OVERLOOK many unpleasant things, words, or actions. Maybe it's something people have done to you, or the words...Sometimes, you just have to be blind to love them. Afterall, love is blind. Haha!

LOVE is a big word which demands you to ACCEPT the past, whether it's your past, the ones you treasure, or the ones whom dislike you. Accept things someone did in the past, even though they are causing pain to you now. Accept your own mistakes, your own past, open a new chapter and start writing again! :)

LOVE is a big word which demands you to FORGIVE. To forgive yourself, and others. Enough with self-pity! If you love yourself, if you love God and love His creation (which is you), stop indulging yourself in self-pity. Forgive yourself, set yourself free. You deserve something way better! God has given us so much more, why choose the bad ones? And this is the hardest part, i have seen people talking about 'forgiveness' yet when it comes to action, we know ourselves how much we can forgive others. It is really hard to forgive, especially when they have hurt you so much, so much. 

LOVE is a big word which demands you to BE PATIENT. If you want to love others, first learn to be patient. How much can you love? How long can you wait? In loving your enemies, how much can you love them? How long can you hold on?

Basically, these are just lessons learnt. *fuuuh~* i have to admit that i am not good at all those, it just seems really hard to LOVE. However, i promised to God i will try. And i really want to try. Not to show to others, but it's my promise to my Father, whom has demonstrated LOVE through His grace and blessings. And yes, sometimes, i feel unfair, i feel frustrated. Why could they do all those things to me yet i had to swallow? It's easy right, i could do the same by unleashing all i felt out. I'm also a human being. I have feelings, too. I can't just keep swallowing. I could just blaaaaaaah and do the same. However, i really don't want to do that. Maybe to others, it's running away; to me, it's running to GOD. Seriously, i admit that it blew me very badly, and yes, there were times i almost broke down and wondered why the test was so difficult. And yes, many times, it just made me feel so unloved... However, when we choose to cast our problems to God, He shows us it can be easy if you cling on to Him. Wait for HIM, in His time, He makes all things perfect. :) And when i draw myself closer to Him, He showed me how much more He loves me than i thought. Thank You, Father God. 

I'm still praying over it. 

I will not break the promise with God.

I'm waiting for God's perfect timing. 

Father God, show me the message behind this mess.

I will wait upon You.

God knows.

Life's been pretty... indescribable, unfathomable, unexpected lately. The roller coaster keeps going up and down, round and round,

round and round...

Sometimes there was an assuring peaceful moment; sometimes unexpected things just exploded uncontrollably; sometimes your view got really blurred and you just couldn't see the road ahead clearly; sometimes everything turned so rowdy and you really found it hard to hear the voice - God's calming and assuring voice in the midst of all noises; sometimes life drove you crazy until you felt like running away from everything; sometimes people hurt you made you feel so unwanted and unloved; sometimes you felt helpless when you know the truth was distorted; sometimes you wished someone could just give you a pat on your shoulder to say 'I still trust you' when everyone had their fingers pointed at you; sometimes you wished for people to believe in you for what they truly know about you despite the things they saw and heard; sometimes life got so unfair but the only option you had was to go along with it; sometimes your spirit grew faint and you were just too timid to make another move on; sometimes you felt like giving up, sometimes you felt terribly lost, sometimes you felt so devastated and dismayed;

sometimes you felt like you don't belong here.

How long more, O Lord?
How much more, O Lord?
Will i be able to pull through?
What is it that You want me to learn this time?

Teach me, Lord.
If it means to break me, break me, Lord.
Test me. Mould me. Guide me.
Comfort me. Assure me.

Teach me not to pull through in ways my emotions would take me,
But in the ways that You desire.
Teach me not to hurt other people
But to love them and pray for them.
Teach me not to join them and not to utter unpleasant words
But to bless them with good words.
Teach me not be be hasty in making any decision
But to wait in Your time.

Dear Lord, only You know.
Lord, grant me strength, perseverance, and confidence.

Lord...

Lately...

I'm grateful that God is always here, through thick and thin. Really thankful for His presence in my hard times and His timely help when i was about to break. Few weeks ago was my darkest moment in life (so far). I was really struggling through many things. I was forced to make decisions which i did not know whether it was right or wrong... i felt as if i was just suddenly being thrown into a mess and all i could do was struggling to get out from that swamp. I fought to swim to the land to save myself from being swallowed by the swamp, but the more i fought, the more tired i got, and in the end i was really at the verge of losing faith, strength, and myself! Words could hardly describe how the situation was at that time. However, in the midst of helplessness, hopelessness, devastation, and despair, all i could do was to cry to God. And that was the exact thing i should be doing.

Really, most of the time, when we don't know what to believe in, believe in GOD. Always believe that God has orchestrated the string of events in life to lead us into His plan, be it ups or downs... But if you truly trust Him, God will show you the plans He has for you. Only if... only if you are willing to go through all the difficulties walking with Him in the path He has prepared for you.

I'm just simply grateful, blessed and thankful for all the things which God has made them happen. :) Thanks for His constant assurance, though big or small, to keep me going on in this path. Apart from that, i feel truly blessed to to be given a very strong fellowship at campus. The wonderful, devoted and inspiring lecturers; caring, thoughtful and amazing brothers and sisters; bubbly, beautiful and supportive bananaboat. Seriously, when you really count the blessings in life, you will soon realize who we are to complain we still haven't received enough from God! ;) Praise the Lord, we have received so much so much from God!!! And MORE TO COME! Oh Lord, teach us how to count the blessings in life instead of counting the troubles in life.

Wow... simply amazing...!! From the deep valley, God led me out of it, and taught me many things! Thank You, Lord! For your faithfulness and unfailing love for me. Right now, i just really want to be a blessing to other people so that i could be God's little servant to reach out, and serve the others.

me-less, others-more, God-more.

Chinese New Year is approaching soon! Have a blessed CNY! :)

Jesus, Take The Wheel

Songwriters: James, Brett; Lindsey, Hillary; Sampson, Gordie;

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Because I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life

I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Because I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8-YO6g05aA

Very meaningful. :)

Let God be God. :) He knows what to do. :') ♥
He always knows.

Of flood, new semester, life...

This morning i woke up when the alarm rang, 5:30am.. it was already raining very heavily for hours i suppose. I was too tired so i snoozed the alarm off and went back to sleep, thinking that even if i go earlier to campus today, it will be super jam anyway. So i woke up again an hour later, the water level outside my house was already rising! The drain water was full and had overflown. The water was slowly reaching the fence. Dangg! Mom called back, told me she was stuck in a terrible traffic jam to work, asked me not to go to campus cuz it would be even worse there, and told me to move the stuff in the study room. Do i did, and looking at the water level, i didn't drive out, i just called my class monitor to tell her i won't be going that early, depends on the situation. Had a few calls with friends, and they told me don't need to go to campus dy as the Batu Lintang area was very badly flooded. Soon after, class monitor informed that all lectures were cancelled! Oh well, an unexpected holiday!

However, that doesn't mean i could sleep back! I went downstairs to move all the boxes in my study room upstairs. Now i have my bookshelf in my bedroom. And all the other boxes. My room has turned into a refuge! After all the books-saving effort, i sat down on the sofa and rested. The water level outside the house had stopped rising, time to take a break. Then went to check Facebook, found out shocking news! A form 6 girl was walking to school on the knee-length flooded road after the parents dropped her and she fell into the drain! :((((( Then a cashier who was at the Shell station went to save her, he managed to grabbed her. However, the water current was too strong that both of them got washed away. SAD! In just a flood, two lives are taken. (and this is only near Batu Lintang/Rock Road here, i don't know about other places.) May God bless their souls, and may God grant peace, comfort, and strength to the families who suffered from the loss.

Just how fragile life is...

Yesterday was the first day of lecture. The subjects offered this semester are... hmmm. I'm worried! I just don't seem to be interested in those. Hopefully i could find them interesting soon. =/ Or else, this would be a very dull semester! Really missed those fun and laughter in the class! The first two hours, our lecturer didn't even appear! Worse, we couldn't even contact him. Aduhh. What a good first impression you've made, sir! Anyway, thanks to him too, that the people in the class got to hung around and talked. It has been awhile! Then we had some very short lectures to introduce the subjects. And i was already feeling sleepy! We had our lectures all pushed up to the morning so the afternoon was free! However, i stayed back for some counseling and mind-relieving session. Although in the end i still didn't get my answers, no wait, actually i got my answers, but i know any decisions i make now would be hurting somehow, in different ways. I'm actually totally stuck, whichever move i make, i just can't run away from it. Hmm well, that's just life isn't it?

No matter what mess life throws you, you just gotta fight through it strong!

Yesterday evening, went jogging with Miley. Hooray! Stamina increased a bit! :) Lately i went jogging cuz it can drain my energy and make me tired, then i would be able to sleep at night! Then we met our institute's hokey team! We stopped and watched. Miley and i talked about how much we like guys who do sports, guys who spend time for sports despite hectic life schedules... Wahseh! Back to secondary school.

Then last night... :) I just wanna say thank you to you. Felt a lot better.. :) Really miss it...

When you are overwhelmed by the realities,
don't forget that miracle is there waiting.
When you think that you've lost all hopes,
just remember to rekindle some faith in you.
Even if, it's a tiny little faith you could muster.
A tiny spark of faith could light up all the possibilities in impossibilities.

A tiny squeak of faith could be a deafening call to the Heaven,
and you know, God is definitely going to send His help
and make miracle!

Surrender everything to GOD.

Humans are born strong.

Running Away.

Where can i go from your Spirit?
Where can i flee from your presence?
If i go up to the heavens, you are there;
if i make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If i rise on the wings of the dawn,
if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If i say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Psalm 139:7-12

Don't we all feel like running away at times? When troubles arise and when hard times strike us, we feel weak, powerless, devastated... Somehow, our faith shrinks drastically, courage deserts us, and everything we want to hold on tight is falling apart. The first instinct is to run away... run far far away from all these.

Running away from problems, running away from facing them......running away from God.

Another sleepless night. Nonetheless, praise the Lord! Recently, sleepless nights would be longer dates with God. :) Instead of wasting time to toss and turn in the bed, instead of staring into the dark and brood over the things which bug me, why not take time to talk and listen to God?

I tried to run away... but it led me to nowhere. Problems are not solved, instead, worries, anxieties, frustrations increased. Running away is not the way to solve any problem you face. God is always with everyone of us. We can tell Him our problems, our anxieties, and everything! How wonderful it is that our Father knows us well - every move, every thought - sometimes He knows even better than us! Like how King David wrote in Psalm 139:1-4. Our Father knows us COMPLETELY. So, why run away?

Everywhere we go, everything we do, every hardship we endure, God is watching over us. No matter how upset we are, no matter how far we run away from Him, He will still be there. He will be reaching out His hand, waiting for us to hold His hand so that He can guide us through. Even when you think it's too dark for you, too impossible for you; to God, it's bright with hope, it's possible! So, why run away?

Stop running away.
Turn to God,
hold His hand,
and trust in Him.

God bless you all! :)

Be Still

'Be still, and know that I am God.' Psalm 46:10

BE STILL. He is God. God is in control. God is with you, God is walking with you through all the pain that you have to endure. God is fighting with you when challenges come thrashing down. God covers you and protects you when you feel scared. God holds your hand when you feel unsure and doubtful. There's nothing impossible in God. He is the God who gives and takes away. God knows what He is doing. God has His plans and His own timing. Overcome your fears, cast away your anxieties, and believe in Him, because He is GOD.

Promises.

Pour Your spirit over me, let Your love rain down.
Would You take these hands of mine and use me?
Would You take these feet of mine and lead me?

Thank You, Father, for tonight. 'promises'.. You are indeed an awesome GOD! I am so in love with You... ♥

Tonight was a special night. Ever since i stepped my foot to SG, there's a voice inside me kept telling me to join any cell group i could. So i joined my cousin's cell group - it turned out fantastically and magically AWESOME! I'm amazed at how God does things! When you need just the right word to be reassured, when you are struggling and fighting within yourself, when you are just so desperate for an answer - He will give it to you, somehow... He will come to the rescue, for sure. :) Thank You, Lord!

Was really worried over someone... and i felt so powerless cuz i really can't do anything practical to help, to ease his pain. Felt like everything that i've been trying was just in vain. Felt like there's no hope... However, after this powerful prayer by the cell group leader, i feel that i have the strength to carry on this fight...

Promises.

Don't give up just yet.
Gotta claim the gifts, remember?

Hello October!

Hello October, it has been a while!!! I've never expected i would abandon the blog this long. I thought of recording down every life's wonderful, or sad happenings. At least there is something for me to read on my life. Or at least i could inspire people through my life. But, really terribly sorry. I was so busy with things. :(

Anyway, gonna poof again.


Before that, i want to say this:

I really thank God for all the things i have received so freely for Him, and all the times He has forgiven me. :) The awesome friends and people He put into my life. They way He makes people connected to one another - through family, siblings, friendship, bananaboat *wink to my banana partner*, special relationship, special friends... and all. :) God is indeed good. He has His plans.

Keep trusting God!

Reaching out...

Alright, today is a day off for me. No lecture the whole day. :) I know one week hasn't ended, but i really want to share this now. Right now, i'm filled with God's wondrous blessing and great love.

Believe it or not, everyone is here for a special reason.

Well, to tell the truth, this hasn't been a very good week to start off with. Well, i've been very busy, been hurt, been depressed over something, been feeling really confused over things i can't comprehend...and more! It's actually an all-bad-and-nothing-good week! Hey, i think you should just put on that grumpy face and tell the world you are upset. Well, you think??? Nah, God made me realize something from all these. Something very important. :)

When i was confronted with waves of troubles, and i didn't know how to cope with all those calamities, and i felt like i was so useless... He knocked on my door, and sent me out on a mission.

When you feel like you are nobody,
God makes you to be somebody.

He called me to comfort those who are troubled, complete those who feel incomplete, console those who are hurt, cheer up those who feel sad...

There's this brother in the chapel, whom i wanted to comfort him since the first time i heard of the death of his father for years. I know how he misses his father everyday, and how strong he has been all these years. However, i was very reluctant to approach him and to tell him things i wanted to tell him because i was afraid i would say the wrong thing. After all, i might not know how exactly he felt as i was not in his shoe, i may not even know the pain he has to swallow all this while, and all the responsibility that he has to bear, and all. But then... That night, he suddenly told me that he missed his father. At that very moment, there was this voice telling me, comfort him, go and comfort him, now. I paused for a few minutes, then i started to type out the things i wanted to tell him. It's so surprising that words just flowed out smoothly and perfectly. In the end he said, 'Wow.... thanks. I have never thought of this. Really. What you have said, just made me feel so happy now!' I was so touched too! Indescribable joy filled me instantly! Warm tears trickled down my cheek. Thank You, Lord! It really feels great to help someone to be happy again. To make someone feel complete and comforted. But all this wouldn't have happened if i didn't have the wisdom from God! God, thank You for using me! This is a mission.

That was the beginning of the week. This week, i've been trying to reach out to people and touch their lives. And yes, i saw some of my friends who were in need, and i tried whatever i could to comfort them. And GOD used me! This is a mission. He really used me. It's just very pleasing to see those sad faces turning into happy faces. I realized, in doing all this, God transferred my sorrow into a power to bring happiness to people. And, from the words i used to comfort others, i actually comforted myself! Isn't that wonderful? God really has His ways in comforting us.

Also, in this week, i've finally made it to the chapel! *breathe in* Yesterday! *heaps of joy!!!* You know i was so happy so happy that i made it there! That's something i wanted to do since the beginning of this semester. To sing praises to God in His house, with His children! :) Amen, praise the Lord! The whole day yesterday i was really filled with joy... It's really wonderful to start your day with God! :)

Recently too, God made me realize lots of wonderful people He has put in my life. Friends who are there to share your laughter, friends who are there to go crazy with you, friends who are there for you. :) Friends. Friendship. What a wonderful present God gave us. Friends are God's way of taking care of us. Since He can't be here literally to laugh/cry/go crazy/you-name-it with us, He sent us angels. That's our friends, and those people around you who love you and care for you. Even though some friends may be separated by distance, but you know for sure that when you need someone, you can find them at the right place where you know you can find them. How wonderful that is? ♥

Well, this week has indeed been a very special week for me. (i know it has not even ended yet, but i know tomorrow it will still be special, because He will make it special!) I hope i could continue to use my life to bless all the people around me, to give time for people who need it even when i could hardly squeeze time for myself, to cheer people up even when i myself is feeling down... And i hope in doing this, God will continue to guide me and teach me in His path so that i could walk steadily with Him, touch the lives of the people along the way, and learn to be stronger by letting Him use me in every way i could.

You see, when i was feeling like i'm nobody, God showed me i could be somebody. :)
I have a wonderful God!

Was sick... and now healed!

I actually had a lot of things to update, but i didn't know where to start off with. Life's been very busy, but i guess i really live it to the fullest! :) Praise the Lord it has been a really blessed month in achieving a lot of miracles with Him. True. Many times, i thought that i was just too weak to be used by Him, but He made me realize that it's Him whom makes me strong everytime. So, it doesn't really matter whether you are strong or weak before He calls you for a mission. :) Let His power fill you and then you will be strong, not strong by yourself, but you will be strong IN HIM.

Yesterday early morning i had a painful gastric attack which in the end turned out to be food poisoning, a very serious one though. I almost got hospitalized! But praise the Lord, it's just a two-hour pain, and thank Him too because my parents were around. If not i think i would die. :( After that painful experience in the morning, i had fever in the afternoon until night. What a combo eh? Then later at night, my stubbornness finally surrendered and i went to see the doctor. I was diagnosed with food poisoning. =S

One thing i would like to share about this whole incident is what my friend told me. He told me to take care of myself, because it's God's temple. It's almost as if a sudden strike which stroke right through me. YES, my body is God's temple, if i always take it for granted, it's actually destroying His temple. Perhaps, i was just too busy (and perhaps, stressed out, a bit) with my assignments, and tonnes of extra work to do at the school that i pushed myself too hard. And just when the holiday started, i got sick, a terrible one. Yeah, it's time to spend more time for myself. :)

Basically yesterday was all about sleeping, waking up, walking around groggily, then back to sleeping again... yep. THANK GOD today i'm feeling so much so much better! :)

Okay, i'm ready for my holiday! Come on!

Just remember: I care.

When you think you're alone
In the middle of the night,
When you've just had an awful dream
And you're shivering with fright,
You lie there alone and scared
And wonder if anyone cares.
If you look into your heart
You'll always find Me there.
Sometimes life is just too hard
And you need to get away.
You need someone to talk to
Who will listen to what you say,
Someone who will let you know
That they'll always be there.
When you can't find anyone
Just remember that I care.
When there is nowhere else to go
You can always come to Me
I promise that I'll be there
In your greatest hour of need.
I'm sure you can find Me
If you take the time for prayer.
When the whole world seems to hate you
Just remember that I care.

This is something i read in the Internet last week and i wanted to show. :) Just as simple as a reminder for you that i care, but it means a lot more than that.

Thank You, Lord...

Hello August!

Wow, life's been like so busy, so busy! I can't believe it, it's August already! Lots of things happened lately. Good as well as bad, but God made them all end well... :) Learnt a lot of things. Perhaps i will try sharing it here this Friday. :)


Was it God talking to me? Hmmm. It came up so suddenly, like out of nowhere. But it somehow answered the question i've been struggling. God, is that the answer?

Thank you, dear... ♥