Thursday, December 29, 2011

Answers.

2011 is coming to the end. This semester has been a very special semester, with many achievements, trials, experiences, stressful weeks, disappointments, downfalls, firsts, happy moments, sweet moments, heart-aching moments... Many things to say about this semester, and this whole year... However, i think i won't write it out here, it's just simply too much to share here.

After all these, i just thought that maybe i was in a rush, in many things.

And maybe sometimes, i thought too much for other people (or, i cared too much how other people would think) that i made some decisions which go against my own will, and in the end, i messed things up. When i wanted to make up for everything, it's just a little bit too late. Missed out the chance. And no matter how hard i try, it's just not meant to be.


I'm still searching for answers.
Many answers...
to my unanswered questions.


Should i leave it,
or should i save it?

Best of Me


I was made the wrong way.
Won't you do me the right way?
Where you gonna be tonight?
Cuz I won't stay too long.

Maybe you're the light for me,
When you talk to me it strikes me.
Won't somebody help me?
Cuz I don't feel too strong.

Was there something that I said?
Was there something that I did?
Or the combination I both that did me end?

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say.
You know that some of us spin again,
When you do you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me.
And I hate the thought finally been erased.
Baby that's the best of me.

Everything's behind you,
But the whole place signs besides you.
Living in the moment.
Have I wasted all your time?

Was there something that I said?
Was there something that I did?
Or the combination I both that did me end?

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say.
You know that some of us spin again,
When you do you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me,
And I hate the thought finally been erased.
Baby that's the best of me.
Baby that's the best of me.

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say.
You know that someone those spin again,
When you do you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me.
And I hate the thought finally been erased.
Baby that's the best of me.

- Best of Me by Daniel Powter -


Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me

For you...

Monday, December 26, 2011

What Every Woman Should Know


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. or a charming Inn in the woods.... when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...
~ Pamela Redmond Satran

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Learn to be independent...

When you are sad,
squat down and hug yourself...
You gotta learn to love yourself first now...
No one will always be there for you...

难过的时候就蹲下来,抱抱自己。
要学会自己先疼自己。

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Running Away.

Where can i go from your Spirit?
Where can i flee from your presence?
If i go up to the heavens, you are there;
if i make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If i rise on the wings of the dawn,
if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If i say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Psalm 139:7-12

Don't we all feel like running away at times? When troubles arise and when hard times strike us, we feel weak, powerless, devastated... Somehow, our faith shrinks drastically, courage deserts us, and everything we want to hold on tight is falling apart. The first instinct is to run away... run far far away from all these.

Running away from problems, running away from facing them......running away from God.

Another sleepless night. Nonetheless, praise the Lord! Recently, sleepless nights would be longer dates with God. :) Instead of wasting time to toss and turn in the bed, instead of staring into the dark and brood over the things which bug me, why not take time to talk and listen to God?

I tried to run away... but it led me to nowhere. Problems are not solved, instead, worries, anxieties, frustrations increased. Running away is not the way to solve any problem you face. God is always with everyone of us. We can tell Him our problems, our anxieties, and everything! How wonderful it is that our Father knows us well - every move, every thought - sometimes He knows even better than us! Like how King David wrote in Psalm 139:1-4. Our Father knows us COMPLETELY. So, why run away?

Everywhere we go, everything we do, every hardship we endure, God is watching over us. No matter how upset we are, no matter how far we run away from Him, He will still be there. He will be reaching out His hand, waiting for us to hold His hand so that He can guide us through. Even when you think it's too dark for you, too impossible for you; to God, it's bright with hope, it's possible! So, why run away?


Stop running away.
Turn to God,
hold His hand,
and trust in Him.

God bless you all! :)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Happiness.

'No one owes you your happiness. No one is responsible for your happiness.
Happiness is your choice.' (Mdm Angie, 2010)


♥


Be Still

'Be still, and know that I am God.' Psalm 46:10

BE STILL. He is God. God is in control. God is with you, God is walking with you through all the pain that you have to endure. God is fighting with you when challenges come thrashing down. God covers you and protects you when you feel scared. God holds your hand when you feel unsure and doubtful. There's nothing impossible in God. He is the God who gives and takes away. God knows what He is doing. God has His plans and His own timing. Overcome your fears, cast away your anxieties, and believe in Him, because He is GOD.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Promises.

Pour Your spirit over me, let Your love rain down.
Would You take these hands of mine and use me?
Would You take these feet of mine and lead me?
Thank You, Father, for tonight. 'promises'.. You are indeed an awesome GOD! I am so in love with You... ♥

Tonight was a special night. Ever since i stepped my foot to SG, there's a voice inside me kept telling me to join any cell group i could. So i joined my cousin's cell group - it turned out fantastically and magically AWESOME! I'm amazed at how God does things! When you need just the right word to be reassured, when you are struggling and fighting within yourself, when you are just so desperate for an answer - He will give it to you, somehow... He will come to the rescue, for sure. :) Thank You, Lord!

Was really worried over someone... and i felt so powerless cuz i really can't do anything practical to help, to ease his pain. Felt like everything that i've been trying was just in vain. Felt like there's no hope... However, after this powerful prayer by the cell group leader, i feel that i have the strength to carry on this fight...

Promises.


Don't give up just yet.
Gotta claim the gifts, remember?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Silence.

Unbelievable!

So many questions i wanted to ask, so many things i wanted to say...
Yet, are all summarized with a few minutes of s i l e n c e .

Courage. :(

Take care, alright?

Dilemma.

To go
or
not to go?

Will things change when i leave?
Will everything still remain the same when i come back?

I hate the feeling of being far, far away from everything...

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Book Making

Sometimes, i really don't know how can i help. So i spent one whole night, making a motivation book, hopefully it can always be there to motivate you when you need a boost of strength. Went all over the places to search for quotes, flipped through the bible to search for powerful bible verses to encourage you. I just wanna help out, i wanna do something to help out... :) Do something i could...


Remember...

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Unfair.

Why most of them who never treasure life can enjoy a good life, good health? They don't deserve it! They do all kinds of things to destroy their own life... Yet those who fight to live everyday and to chase after their dreams, have to struggle through pain and endless suffering... Why those who don't deserve good health could have it, yet those who deserve good health are just far from it? Why? :'(

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sunday, October 30, 2011

sen no yoru wo koete by aqua timez

I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt
I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

Do you love me? Or not love me?
As for things like that, it’s already fine either way
No matter how I wish
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?
That’s right, and because only the fact of my loving you
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone

I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell it to you
There’s something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s scary to turn my feelings into words
But I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

In this broad world, I can’t express the joy of encountering you with words
So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi
Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone

On the path we came from and our destination, when we looked back, I’d always have timid eyes
I want to face you, but I can’t be honest
I, who repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner
And hated being alone on that day
Seemed to love people while unwounded

I’ll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now
There is something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
Even if those thoughts aren’t fulfilled, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

Gotta keep this song forever.. :)

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Hello October!

Hello October, it has been a while!!! I've never expected i would abandon the blog this long. I thought of recording down every life's wonderful, or sad happenings. At least there is something for me to read on my life. Or at least i could inspire people through my life. But, really terribly sorry. I was so busy with things. :(

Anyway, gonna poof again.


Before that, i want to say this:

I really thank God for all the things i have received so freely for Him, and all the times He has forgiven me. :) The awesome friends and people He put into my life. They way He makes people connected to one another - through family, siblings, friendship, bananaboat *wink to my banana partner*, special relationship, special friends... and all. :) God is indeed good. He has His plans.

Keep trusting God!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Reaching out...

Alright, today is a day off for me. No lecture the whole day. :) I know one week hasn't ended, but i really want to share this now. Right now, i'm filled with God's wondrous blessing and great love.

Believe it or not, everyone is here for a special reason.

Well, to tell the truth, this hasn't been a very good week to start off with. Well, i've been very busy, been hurt, been depressed over something, been feeling really confused over things i can't comprehend...and more! It's actually an all-bad-and-nothing-good week! Hey, i think you should just put on that grumpy face and tell the world you are upset. Well, you think??? Nah, God made me realize something from all these. Something very important. :)

When i was confronted with waves of troubles, and i didn't know how to cope with all those calamities, and i felt like i was so useless... He knocked on my door, and sent me out on a mission.

When you feel like you are nobody,
God makes you to be somebody.


He called me to comfort those who are troubled, complete those who feel incomplete, console those who are hurt, cheer up those who feel sad...

There's this brother in the chapel, whom i wanted to comfort him since the first time i heard of the death of his father for years. I know how he misses his father everyday, and how strong he has been all these years. However, i was very reluctant to approach him and to tell him things i wanted to tell him because i was afraid i would say the wrong thing. After all, i might not know how exactly he felt as i was not in his shoe, i may not even know the pain he has to swallow all this while, and all the responsibility that he has to bear, and all. But then... That night, he suddenly told me that he missed his father. At that very moment, there was this voice telling me, comfort him, go and comfort him, now. I paused for a few minutes, then i started to type out the things i wanted to tell him. It's so surprising that words just flowed out smoothly and perfectly. In the end he said, 'Wow.... thanks. I have never thought of this. Really. What you have said, just made me feel so happy now!' I was so touched too! Indescribable joy filled me instantly! Warm tears trickled down my cheek. Thank You, Lord! It really feels great to help someone to be happy again. To make someone feel complete and comforted. But all this wouldn't have happened if i didn't have the wisdom from God! God, thank You for using me! This is a mission.

That was the beginning of the week. This week, i've been trying to reach out to people and touch their lives. And yes, i saw some of my friends who were in need, and i tried whatever i could to comfort them. And GOD used me! This is a mission. He really used me. It's just very pleasing to see those sad faces turning into happy faces. I realized, in doing all this, God transferred my sorrow into a power to bring happiness to people. And, from the words i used to comfort others, i actually comforted myself! Isn't that wonderful? God really has His ways in comforting us.

Also, in this week, i've finally made it to the chapel! *breathe in* Yesterday! *heaps of joy!!!* You know i was so happy so happy that i made it there! That's something i wanted to do since the beginning of this semester. To sing praises to God in His house, with His children! :) Amen, praise the Lord! The whole day yesterday i was really filled with joy... It's really wonderful to start your day with God! :)

Recently too, God made me realize lots of wonderful people He has put in my life. Friends who are there to share your laughter, friends who are there to go crazy with you, friends who are there for you. :) Friends. Friendship. What a wonderful present God gave us. Friends are God's way of taking care of us. Since He can't be here literally to laugh/cry/go crazy/you-name-it with us, He sent us angels. That's our friends, and those people around you who love you and care for you. Even though some friends may be separated by distance, but you know for sure that when you need someone, you can find them at the right place where you know you can find them. How wonderful that is? ♥

Well, this week has indeed been a very special week for me. (i know it has not even ended yet, but i know tomorrow it will still be special, because He will make it special!) I hope i could continue to use my life to bless all the people around me, to give time for people who need it even when i could hardly squeeze time for myself, to cheer people up even when i myself is feeling down... And i hope in doing this, God will continue to guide me and teach me in His path so that i could walk steadily with Him, touch the lives of the people along the way, and learn to be stronger by letting Him use me in every way i could.

You see, when i was feeling like i'm nobody, God showed me i could be somebody. :)
I have a wonderful God!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

RESPECT

Respect is a lesson that everyone should learn
Respect must be given before an expected return
Respect is something that’s given for free
Respect is about us and never about me
Respect is the basis on which relationships are founded
Respect is the anchor that keeps a person well grounded
Respect builds the character and defines who we are
Respect sets the standard and raises the bar
Respect is magnanimous and helps to fulfill
Respect is the partner that sits with good will
Respect is like honey so sweet it’s perceived
Respect a taste to savour for when it’s received

Create Date : Monday, July 06, 2009
Don Wilson


Why is it so difficult? RESPECT. That's the only thing i ask from you.


Saturday, September 24, 2011

Trust.


Actually,
sometimes you really just gotta believe what you feel.
and have faith. :)

Glad that everything is crystal clear now. :)

Thanks and sorry! :))))

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Darling, please be true...

I just wonder if what i'm feeling now is true. Sometimes, i felt the strong urge to ask, what actually the whole thing is about. However, everytime, i was held back by myself, asking, 'shouldn't you have faith, girl?' But what i've seen and heard now really told me otherwise. I started to doubt this feeling. I started to doubt if everything was true.

What i know,
what i don't know,
what i choose to know,
what others know,
what others made me know...

What i believe,
what i don't believe,
what i choose to believe,
what others believe,
what others made me believe...

It feels like i'm outside the picture, yet in the picture, somehow.
It feels like i'm painting the picture too, but not knowing every detail that we've painted.

There's just some part left unexplained. Do we need to clarify it?
How does it feel when you are in the picture yet when people are talking about the picture, you know nothing at all?
It feels exactly like you are actually out of the picture right?

What you've just made me believe, you have crushed it again with your own actions.
Darling, please be true.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

On the verge...

on the verge of breaking down...

Listen girl, no one can always be there for you.
So you gotta be strong yourself.
So you gotta be independent!
Do not ever ever rely on anyone else to comfort you cuz people may turn away...
people may get busy...
and people may change.

Listen girl, no one can always remain the same like the first day you know them.
As time passes, some feelings just disappeared.
As time passes, some things are just never the same anymore.

Listen girl, after you have cried, quickly wipe your tears away
for you shall not show that you are weak
especially in front of those people who have let you down.
Show them you are independent, you are strong on your own.
You must stand up, lift your chin up, and continue to walk proudly.
For you are you, the strong you, don't let anything else shatter your confidence.

There's no need for any sympathetic ears,
or an understanding shoulder...
You just have to be strong,
and fight on...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hello September!

Oh.......... Time flies! It's now SEPTEMBER already! And my holiday is almost over. Time to go back to those hectic school days. :(

Hmmm, today i'm feeling a bit down. It feels like all the things just don't fall into places. Things that i'm supposed to do, things that i'm supposed to plan... I just can't seem to get myself tuned to the working mode. And to add on to the stress, the time is clicking. tic toc tic toc... And i tried, but i really feel that i'm very limited. I dont seem to have any good ideas for the things i should plan.

And there's another problem...another problem, another one, another one... :(


God, teach me how to overcome all this.
Give me strength and teach me how to do things i do not know how to do.
Be with me and walk through all this together...
Assure me when i feel weak and helpless...
Thank You, Lord...
Amen...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Was sick... and now healed!

I actually had a lot of things to update, but i didn't know where to start off with. Life's been very busy, but i guess i really live it to the fullest! :) Praise the Lord it has been a really blessed month in achieving a lot of miracles with Him. True. Many times, i thought that i was just too weak to be used by Him, but He made me realize that it's Him whom makes me strong everytime. So, it doesn't really matter whether you are strong or weak before He calls you for a mission. :) Let His power fill you and then you will be strong, not strong by yourself, but you will be strong IN HIM.

Yesterday early morning i had a painful gastric attack which in the end turned out to be food poisoning, a very serious one though. I almost got hospitalized! But praise the Lord, it's just a two-hour pain, and thank Him too because my parents were around. If not i think i would die. :( After that painful experience in the morning, i had fever in the afternoon until night. What a combo eh? Then later at night, my stubbornness finally surrendered and i went to see the doctor. I was diagnosed with food poisoning. =S

One thing i would like to share about this whole incident is what my friend told me. He told me to take care of myself, because it's God's temple. It's almost as if a sudden strike which stroke right through me. YES, my body is God's temple, if i always take it for granted, it's actually destroying His temple. Perhaps, i was just too busy (and perhaps, stressed out, a bit) with my assignments, and tonnes of extra work to do at the school that i pushed myself too hard. And just when the holiday started, i got sick, a terrible one. Yeah, it's time to spend more time for myself. :)

Basically yesterday was all about sleeping, waking up, walking around groggily, then back to sleeping again... yep. THANK GOD today i'm feeling so much so much better! :)

Okay, i'm ready for my holiday! Come on!

Just remember: I care.

When you think you're alone
In the middle of the night,
When you've just had an awful dream
And you're shivering with fright,
You lie there alone and scared
And wonder if anyone cares.
If you look into your heart
You'll always find Me there.
Sometimes life is just too hard
And you need to get away.
You need someone to talk to
Who will listen to what you say,
Someone who will let you know
That they'll always be there.
When you can't find anyone
Just remember that I care.
When there is nowhere else to go
You can always come to Me
I promise that I'll be there
In your greatest hour of need.
I'm sure you can find Me
If you take the time for prayer.
When the whole world seems to hate you
Just remember that I care.

This is something i read in the Internet last week and i wanted to show. :) Just as simple as a reminder for you that i care, but it means a lot more than that.

Thank You, Lord...

Holding hands.


You hold it,
not because you like holding it.
You hold it,
because you want to hold it forever.

Hold it tight,
not because you are afraid of losing it.
Hold it tight,
because you know you will hold it everytime it needs you.


So will you?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hello August!

Wow, life's been like so busy, so busy! I can't believe it, it's August already! Lots of things happened lately. Good as well as bad, but God made them all end well... :) Learnt a lot of things. Perhaps i will try sharing it here this Friday. :)


Was it God talking to me? Hmmm. It came up so suddenly, like out of nowhere. But it somehow answered the question i've been struggling. God, is that the answer?

Thank you, dear... ♥

Friday, July 22, 2011

Truly blessed because of Him. ♥

HI.... it's been awhile! I was so so so busy to actually sign in blogger and post something here. But now i'm glad that weekend is here! Whee~ *gasping for air!* Finally i could get some rest, a lil rest, but still thank GOD for that!!! I'm actually sooo excited, i have so many things to share!

Let me start off with something which just happened recently. :)

I went for my family dinner just now. My aunt actually said i look thinner! Hahaha, thanks to all the stress! :p Seriously this semester really is a challenging semester for me. From a busy person to a busier person (perhaps will soon be the busiest). Taking the role of the assistant class monitor ain't an easy job. :'( But it's something everyone of us have to go through, so like it or not, embrace it. :) With that, my lifestyle has totally changed. I slept almost after midnight everyday, and woke up around 5 something in the morning, took bath and got myself ready... sometimes had my breakfast, sometimes had it in the car, sometimes had it in the class, sometimes, no breakfast at all. And, around 615am or 620am, i should be on the road with my dear Pajero. I have to do this everyday, because the school now has very limited parking space, so i have to be there early to get one good place.

Sometimes i got stressed out and wondered why life was so difficult. Arranging lectures, contacting lecturers, fighting for classrooms, homework, tasks, assignments, timetable, research, slides, presentations....satisfying everyone... Apart from these, i also want to spend more time with friends and family... spend more time for tennis, violin, piano, guitar, singing, songs recording, making sushi, photo-shooting, uploading photos, and things i love to do... and i want to spend more time with God! Wow...! Sometimes i really feel that it's really too much for me to handle!

However, if life is easy, we wouldn't even realize the need to lean on to someone and to feel weak. If life is too easy, we would never stop and look around the things we actually have. If life is too easy, we won't even feel the need to surrender all ourselves to someone who's ever-so-mighty. If life is too easy, we will get even lost somehow.

Be grateful that life is not easy! :)

During the Friday gathering at St. Bede today, i totally felt the presence of God in the chapel with us. I believe He brought us all there for a purpose. It's not because we are Christians that we were there together, but rather, it's because He loves all of us and we were gathered there together by His love, and sharing His love! Through sharing, each and everyone of us was enlightened and recharged; the weak was strengthened, the sad was comforted. How wonderful! How wonderful and amazing His love is! Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and always! ♥

There's so much thing we could learn from the downs in our life. Most of the time, we just have to feel weak to experience God's amazing love. Let troubles draw us closer to God. This verse kept popping up to me today:

"For i am weak, then i am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

And the verse before that,

'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

How true. And how relieved it is to hear this from our almighty God. God, i am weak! Come fill me today with your love and strength! Teach me today how to walk firmly in Your way, teach me today how to cast my anxieties aside and let You hold my hand. For when i am weak, i know i am strong because You are here. Always and always.


Another thing shared by one of my friends: Spending time with God.

God has given us so much time, why can't we just spend some of the time we have everyday with Him?

This question struck me. Yeah, i've been receiving 24 hours everyday from God, FREELY, and if it's not because of God, i have no hours, and thus i will not even be here right now! And so, since i have already received so much from God, why is it difficult to at least spend sometime in a day to date with Him? Guilt seeps in. I've been so busy with the things in my everyday life and really neglected spending proper time with Him. God must be upset. :( I want to spend more time with Him. I want to sing songs for Him, play songs for Him, talk to Him, and make Him happy! :) It's not just about serving Him once or twice in a week in church or christian fellowship, or serving Him everyday by doing what i can for Him, and glorifying Him in all ways... it's also about, talking to Him, spending quiet moment with Him, everyday... Enlightened. :)

Living life to the fullest!
Embrace every opportunity, and cherish every moments. :)


We have a new member in our gathering today! Yeepiee! He's a lecturer from the Chinese Dept. I know him because he plays tennis. :) I was playing with the guitar while he asked about my life. When he got to know about my life, he said that i'm a very talented girl, and my life is so meaningful. I know a lot of things, and i fill my life with all sorts of activities. Piano, guitar, violin, tennis, this, that... (oh yea, he included 'driving' in as well, hahahaha) Studies, sports, musics, fellowship, teaching in Sunday School... :)

Come to think of it, it is a meaningful life! :) And with all the talents i have, i am truly blessed that God gave them all to me! :) I'm not special without God, i'm not Agnes without God. In fact, God makes everyone special in his or her own ways, everyone is a very unique creation of his own. :) And God loves us, everyone of us.

* * *

Today, i just feel so blessed. :) Blessed because i'm still alive by the grace of God, blessed because i am weak, blessed because of all the gifts He has given to me, blessed for everything that i have...
i am blessed because HE LOVES ME! ♥


Saturday, July 16, 2011

Friday, July 1, 2011

=)

It's really blessed to have awesome people around you. :)
God, I'm so blessed because of You. :)

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Thank YOU

Thank YOU, LORD!

You care, You listen, You love...me. :')
I'm saved again by Your greatest LOVE.

Hello Lectures!

First week of Lecture.

Finally the whole week has ended. Lot's of things happened, from great anticipation to deep-down-the-valley kind of disappointment. From unexpected to happened. From surprise to sadness. From sadness to happy.

I am the assistant monitor for this semester, so a lot of calling, texting, finding the lecturers, arranging classes, hunting for classroom, meetings are expected. After this whole week, i just realized that a lot of walking/running is needed too. Well, this is good too in a way, because i can do exercise all the time! (Positive mindset! Tick!)

However, it really isn't as easy as cake, talking to lecturers is different from talking to friends. I remember last time during the KK trip i actually called my lecturers 'you guys'. =_= But luckily they were not so sensitive about it. Arranging classes is not easy too. I have to stay back sometimes after class or go earlier than usual to look for the lecturers. So far, so good! :) I think that this job has made me become a more organized person. It feels good to see all the tasks in my checklist are checked. Well, for everything that happened, there is a reason for it. :) Go on, girl! (Positive mindset! Tick!)

I got very upset when i found out that my gerko is actually Table Tennis, not Tennis. Can you imagine how sad i was/am? Something i love with all my life, but i can't play it. To add on to my sadness, there're 5 classes taking tennis this semester. So can you imagine how crowded the tennis court will be? And WHERE can i play if it's so? T.T ...SAD. But then, i've talked to my tennis partner, we might just sign up for a club and play outside. We'll only play at school during weekends. But i really want to approach the coach i met the other day, want to ask him to train me because i really really want to play well. It's my dream all this while; i don't wanna let this dream die, just like how i let so many dreams die in the past.

Just few days ago i finally had the chance to touch and play sape!!! I was so excited! The first song that i want to learn, i've learnt 40% of it in my first lesson! :) AWESOME! I really love the sound of the sape. It sings of tradition and nature. :) Niceeee.

There are things which i should get over them now. I didn't know i would stupidly fell for it. I guess girls are still vulnerable when it comes to words... nice phrased sweet words. Hmmm.


Alright!!! Enough enough! Today i'm gonna work hard and complete all my homework! :)

Didn't know you are of that kind.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Explanation, please?

Mister, I can't read mind, so please speak your mind.
I can't read your mind, and i can't understand why you used certain words to me, and i can't guess what your expressions mean. So you gotta speak your mind and tell me! Don't let me guess, i'm scared i might get it wrong, and got the wrong message. Your words sometime told me things, but your actions told the otherwise. It's dangerous you know, it might end up hurting myself so badly. So please just tell me why you are doing all these, for who, for what...

I somehow felt that i would see you somewhere today, and unexpectedly i did. At someplace i least expected to see you. But when i saw you i didn't know what to say. Perhaps it's good too.

Cuz sour feeling seeped into my heart when i saw...

hmm.

hmmm.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

New Outfit! ♥

Hey hey hey! This is the new outfit for my boyfriend. :)


And tadaaa! hahaha it's a bit sad that the starting wrap wasn't neatly done, the grip is kinda thick so it's hard to wrap it. =S Anyway, i can feeeeel that this will be a good grip. :) Expensive but worth it!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Journey to KK, Sabah.

For these three weeks holidays, i was lucky enough to visit the Sabah, which has indeed left a very unforgettable memory in my life. It was simply awesome! Despite the packed schedule and nights trapped in UMS hostel, i truly enjoyed myself! It marked so much difference when you're traveling with your friends. (An awesome bunch of friends, of course)

* * *
Sabah, known fondly as ‘The Land Below the Wind’ is really an attractive place to visit, with Mount Kinabalu rising majestically 4,095.2m from sea level and its beautiful stretch of coast with beaches of fine white sand and crystal clear water.

I am proud to tell you all that i've successfully conquered Mount Kinabalu! It was not an easy journey way up. I struggled with the pain of my old injury at the joint of my right leg. Every step i made by lifting my leg up hurt a lot. But it was the unwavering determination that held me on and moved me on. I am guilty to admit that i didn't really have enough physical training before the climb. I was busy enjoying my holiday. The only things i did before that week were one evening of jogging and two tennis sessions. (These are not even counted as trainings!) So you see, i had a hard time climbing up.
Before the climb, we stayed at Kinabalu Park. I was lucky to 'tumpang' a lecturer's daughter, that i got to stay in the Peak Lodge. It was a very high class, comfortable Western lodge. We were so excited snapping photos of every corner of the lodge, yes, i meant every corner!
We also had buffet meals there where we savoured every mouthful. And i took every opportunity to be creative by decorating my meals. XD It was fun!

I experienced the deepest inner as well as physical struggles making my way up to the Low's Peak. It was so difficult because i was exhausted with the steep climb, and the wind was so strong and cold. It was as if the nature and your tired self were telling you to give up. But i didn't want to give up just yet. I saw the peak already, i just had to walk there.
Climbers with headlamps trailing up the mountain slowly, battling the coldness but determinedly making each step forward.

I had a mountain guide by my side. Somehow i felt that i was very lucky because it seemed that i was the only one who had a personal mountain guide. My hands were frozen and numb, and my breathing was fast. Seeing this, the mountain guide held my hand. His hand was so warm! He asked me a few times whether i was really going to make it to the peak or i would better just walk back to Laban Rata. I was unsure if i could make it. But one thing for sure was i want to make it to the peak. So i took a deep breathe, and told him, 'Even if i have to crawl up there, i would do so too.' Hearing this, he nodded his head, 'if you want to, i will help you. But don't push yourself too hard, if you can't, just give up. If not you might die halfway up.'
I understood the danger and risk very well if i persist when i was already no longer physically fit for it. But, how could i possibly give up? My students were waiting me for the good news; my friends were praying for my success; my family was praying for me; the others had gone up to the peak; I had already come so far, climbed so much, experienced so much pain and struggles. And i had paid the money for this. (RM530, not a small amount for a college student ok?) The peak was just right in front of me, i just needed to press on and make it there.
So yes!!! Thank God! He granted me extra strength and i finally kissed the summit! The feeling when i was standing at the peak was - awesome - it's indescribable - you just gotta experience it yourself! (At least once in your life.) It's really something that i will remember for life!
I took this when i was going down from the peak. Did you see my proud face?

I thank God too because i got to witness a breathtaking sunrise! It was something that i wanted to do during this Mount Kinabalu climb! It was stunning, beautiful... How great the Creator is, who painted such a beautiful sunrise! It made the whole climb very worthwhile!
Awesomely stunning, breathtaking and beautiful sunrise!

After the climb to the peak, my mountain guide praised me that i am mentally strong. He was surprised too that i could make it up there. This is Agnes, mentally strong! If it's something i really want to achieve, i will, no matter what, press on and endure all hardships in order to reach it. For those who want to challenge Mount Kinabalu: It is a difficult journey up, but it's achievable. Have enough physical trainings before climbing, it will help a lot.
* * *

Hello, Manukan Island!
Manukan Island offers a perfect rendezvous with nature: long, white beaches with gentle surf, crystal-clear waters, and a perfect place to say hello to beautiful fishes. The semi-circular Manukan Island is just about 15 minutes from Kota Kinabalu, you can get a ride by using the speedboat. This is a good paradise with all kinds of fishes. You can find Nemo here! Renting the snorkeling equipment is just RM5! This is a budget island if you want to visit a beautiful island and protect your wallet from excessive 'bleeding'.








Photo with my TESL junior.

We were the only two challengers from TESL course. Oh by the way, i need to clarify that he wasn't putting his hand on my shoulder. It just happened to look like that because of the angle. But hey, don't you think we both look cool? heehee.
* * *

Overall, it was such a memorable trip that i will cherish forever. I took almost 2000 photos in just 6-day trip! This was the first time i went traveling with friends and it was awesomely awesome! Friends make so much difference by just being around. :)

KK is a very good place to visit. I will for sure visit it someday. Didn't really have enough time to really tour around KK as we were trapped in UMS hostel. Of course, apart from Mount KK, we did go to places around KK such as the Philippine Market and 1Borneo which is located somewhere outside UMS.


NEXT DESTINATIONS:
Singapore (Year end), Otago, NZ (June 2011!)

Can't wait!!!