I am a LOSER!

WHY???

Sigh, I feel so tiny, so belittled now. Where's all my self-worth? What am i actually good at?

Tuition? Yes, i have been giving tuitions, and i thought i mix with children well, but i messed up my final observation. And i only did well today! But what's the point? haih. I put in so much effort too. Why did everything turn out like this?

Leader? What did you do??

Reap what you sow? AS IF. In reality, your speech determines your effort, not actions. It's so unfair.

Can't you? Can't you have a bit more of confidence??? What are you afraid of?

But too bad everything just made me look bad today!

Why did i feel like everything turned its back to me today??
And made me feel so tiny and useless.

Haiihhhhhhhh...
feel so heart-broken.

Baby you are DOWN x5

&%$#!*&^%#$%!!!! ARGHHHH!!! I'm in a foul mood. GRRR. I just typed a looooong message to a friend, and the stupid internet connection was so lousy that after i clicked "send", IT DIDN'T EVEN GO THROUGH! It took me more than 30 mins to type a super looong message to express alllllllll the things i want to say - but it just - GONE LIKE THAT! Feel like smacking/slamming/hitting something. URGH! I hate it, I just hate it when my long entry suddenly gone, and i didnt even have a copy of it. Arghhh! And it's impossible to retell retype everything! And you know what? This sickening incident reminds me of my JPA form which was not sent! Internet connection. Message. JPA form. *hit my head on the table*

*massaging temples*

you know what? i'm tired.
you know what? i can't.
you know what? i tried.
you know what? i am confused.
you know what? It's just too hard.
you know what? This is not an emo post (in case you would label it that way).

This is just a random post of some feelings' confessions

and some random thoughts floating in my mind.

"don't get too serious too soon."
"take it slow."
"It takes two to whisper."
"why let somebody else do it for you while you can do it yourself?"
"Don't let anything blindfold you from seeing happiness."
"You would never know your full potential until you are challenged."
"I am giving myself holidays, from things i wish to continue doing, but maybe not these few weeks."
"getting used to it."
"holidays."
"breaks."
"absence."
"a new realization."
"a view of sunrise at the horizon."
"fantasy."
"reality."
"bitter sweet"
"quit."
"not yet."
"it's like a puzzle. everything has a piece of it. you just gotta find them and put them together."
"duet? no."
"violin? yes."
"busy? Crazily insanely BUSY."
"frustration? very."
"crying? Oh please, i wish to. But just can't squeeze out any tears."
"get out. get lost."
"collapsing? still holding myself tight."
"It's been here all this while, you just gotta realize it."

"Baby you are down, down, down, down, down."

I am.

Give me a sign.