To love at all...is to be vulnerable.

Image taken from zenpencils.

The full version of this quote, taken from Lewis’s book, The Four Loves, reads:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

Missing...

My mind has lots of things which i want to share. However, when i opened this page, i didn't know where to start off with, or which to write.

Okay, i will just be honest and...share what is on my mind...

I miss this...

The little hill top.

Saying "I love you"...

"I love you"

The three most overused, misunderstood, & misused words.

When, where, why, how and to whom you would say these three words to? Have they been such overly used words that they actually lose their meaning? You say them to a random someone as how you randomly mean them? Why did you take away the valuable meaning behind these three beautiful words? 

'Guys use it like rags and girls desire it like gold.'

Is that it? "I love you" sounds so meaningless. I'm not being a dreamy girl who over fantasises about love but I never ever once think that "I love you" should be taken for granted. To me, "I love you" comes with a commitment. "I love you" is not your hello-s nor goodbye-s unless the person you say to means something to you. 

You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. 

I don't know about others, in my opinion, no matter how westernized someone is, "I love you" should be used with care and good purpose. Never say them when you don't mean it at all, especially when you use them to banter with opposite sex. I personally feel guys who use these three words a lot without meaning them are just so cheap. Call me old-fashioned, but i do feel there are a lot more other better expressions in the English language which are more suitable and appropriate to use rather than "I love you". 

Guys, in particular, should be more careful with the use of these three words. They can either magically heal or devastatingly hurt the girls. If you don't mean anything, don't use them too often that you might send the wrong signals or you might actually degrade yourselves when other people look at the way you interact with girls. Never take "I love you" for granted - you don't mean what you say, but the ones receiving it don't read your minds. So you really can't blame it fully on girls who take "I love you" seriously and get your message wrong at the end of the day. 

Why not save them for the right person who deserve them the most?

Keeping those three words until the moment you say it to the person you truly love and who truly deserves those three words - how wonderful and beautiful that would be! It would be so meaningful as those words are saved for the person. You wouldn't find a compliment meaningful to you when you know it has been going around everywhere to anyone before it comes to you, would you? And if you compare, having received a compliment that is only for you, how wonderful it would make you feel? 

So, guys and girls, save your "I love you" to the ones who truly deserve it, and to the ones you really mean it to.

Confused.

Signs? Or what? It's so confusing.
You are attracted, yet you are scared.

I hate it to catch myself murmuring to myself "It's stupid" too often recently.

How hard it is to wait patiently for Your time, Father God.
Teach me to wait for You.
Hold and guard my heart.

Relationships?

What do humans want from a relationship? Some people want companionship; some people want love; some people want security; some people want acceptance; some people want fame…what do you want?

Fourth Post of the Year!

I was tossing and turning in bed and i just couldn't sleep despite how physically drained out i was. I seriously need some rest!

So instead of wasting my time, i woke up and planned to start my assignments. However, my brain shut off the minute i saw the articles which i need to read. And i can't remember why after browsing awhile i ended up here, at this long abandoned blog. I took a quick look at all the posts i've written in this blog and these entries have certainly stirred me more and gave me a huge dose of nostalgic feeling. Wow...just how fast time flies! 

I'm glad that everything has come to end. I'm proud of myself that i made the first move to end it. No more looking back into the past! Now, i deserve a new life. :) In fact, i love the way how life is now. I'm actually looking ahead with HOPE. Looking forward to God's PROMISES!

From today onwards, i just want to set my eyes on God and wait upon His time. I will wait for Him to reveal every part of my life according to His time. I don't want to rush in things, I want to do it step-by-step with God, i want to do it right this time.

Love hurts.

Love is not having or owning someone - that is possession.
Love is not afraid of losing the other person - that is fear.

LOVE IS PROTECTING the person from your dark sides and all the hurt that will crush that person into pieces which you could never ever be able to fix again. 

And this means no hiding, no lies.
This means overcoming your dark sides and be a good person.
This means doing the right things that will not hurt the other one.
This means always be honest, always be truthful.
 
All these show how much the other person means to you.


So don't ever say that you love someone if you can't even protect that person.

Of flood, new semester, life...

This morning i woke up when the alarm rang, 5:30am.. it was already raining very heavily for hours i suppose. I was too tired so i snoozed the alarm off and went back to sleep, thinking that even if i go earlier to campus today, it will be super jam anyway. So i woke up again an hour later, the water level outside my house was already rising! The drain water was full and had overflown. The water was slowly reaching the fence. Dangg! Mom called back, told me she was stuck in a terrible traffic jam to work, asked me not to go to campus cuz it would be even worse there, and told me to move the stuff in the study room. Do i did, and looking at the water level, i didn't drive out, i just called my class monitor to tell her i won't be going that early, depends on the situation. Had a few calls with friends, and they told me don't need to go to campus dy as the Batu Lintang area was very badly flooded. Soon after, class monitor informed that all lectures were cancelled! Oh well, an unexpected holiday!

However, that doesn't mean i could sleep back! I went downstairs to move all the boxes in my study room upstairs. Now i have my bookshelf in my bedroom. And all the other boxes. My room has turned into a refuge! After all the books-saving effort, i sat down on the sofa and rested. The water level outside the house had stopped rising, time to take a break. Then went to check Facebook, found out shocking news! A form 6 girl was walking to school on the knee-length flooded road after the parents dropped her and she fell into the drain! :((((( Then a cashier who was at the Shell station went to save her, he managed to grabbed her. However, the water current was too strong that both of them got washed away. SAD! In just a flood, two lives are taken. (and this is only near Batu Lintang/Rock Road here, i don't know about other places.) May God bless their souls, and may God grant peace, comfort, and strength to the families who suffered from the loss.

Just how fragile life is...

Yesterday was the first day of lecture. The subjects offered this semester are... hmmm. I'm worried! I just don't seem to be interested in those. Hopefully i could find them interesting soon. =/ Or else, this would be a very dull semester! Really missed those fun and laughter in the class! The first two hours, our lecturer didn't even appear! Worse, we couldn't even contact him. Aduhh. What a good first impression you've made, sir! Anyway, thanks to him too, that the people in the class got to hung around and talked. It has been awhile! Then we had some very short lectures to introduce the subjects. And i was already feeling sleepy! We had our lectures all pushed up to the morning so the afternoon was free! However, i stayed back for some counseling and mind-relieving session. Although in the end i still didn't get my answers, no wait, actually i got my answers, but i know any decisions i make now would be hurting somehow, in different ways. I'm actually totally stuck, whichever move i make, i just can't run away from it. Hmm well, that's just life isn't it?

No matter what mess life throws you, you just gotta fight through it strong!

Yesterday evening, went jogging with Miley. Hooray! Stamina increased a bit! :) Lately i went jogging cuz it can drain my energy and make me tired, then i would be able to sleep at night! Then we met our institute's hokey team! We stopped and watched. Miley and i talked about how much we like guys who do sports, guys who spend time for sports despite hectic life schedules... Wahseh! Back to secondary school.

Then last night... :) I just wanna say thank you to you. Felt a lot better.. :) Really miss it...

When you are overwhelmed by the realities,
don't forget that miracle is there waiting.
When you think that you've lost all hopes,
just remember to rekindle some faith in you.
Even if, it's a tiny little faith you could muster.
A tiny spark of faith could light up all the possibilities in impossibilities.

A tiny squeak of faith could be a deafening call to the Heaven,
and you know, God is definitely going to send His help
and make miracle!

Surrender everything to GOD.

Humans are born strong.

Hello January 2012!

It's 2012 already! The memory of the last day of school during last semester was still fresh. I planned a lot of things to be done during the year end holiday of 2011, but only 10% were carried out as planned. Anyway, the holiday was a plain torture for me. Until now, i'm still greatly affected by it. I decided to come back here as a blogger again so i have a place to vent, and to type out what i feel. Life has really been hard, and somehow i find it meaningless. And i'm losing myself. :(

It's meaningless cuz people run away from the problems instead of facing them with courage. If everytime when problems arise, and you just flee - seriously, life is meaningless. You gotta try! :( I tried my best to encourage you, to motivate you, to give you hope, to assure you... Cuz i hope you could give it another try. It's really wrong to give up now when you had already put in so much effort to make it happen. :( Don't run away.. it gets hard for me to cope it alone. I'm trying to fix it...

Struggling.

And sometimes i really lost balance 'cuz it's really hard to live strong myself, at the same time, encouraging others to live strong too. Sometimes, i feel like who am i to tell the others to be strong, to hold on tight to faith, to believe in His promises...when i am actually losing my strength, my faith, belief, and all?

It hurts to see someone being torn up emotionally. Sometimes you wanted to be there to help that person go through the hardship, but you yourself could hardly save yourself.

Anyway, i'm trying... :(

I'm trying to strengthen myself for those who need help... to be a help to others despite my own need for help. To be me-less so that it can be others-more. So, i just gotta pick my pieces up, strengthen myself, and continue to bless, inspire others and cheer others on in faith.

"imagine hurting someone, making them feel lonely, angry and unloved because you think it's the best for them."

This, is not the way... it will never be the best for anyone. So, please stop doing it. :(((

I will not give up...
Even if it means ending up with wounds and scars all over.

Best of Me

I was made the wrong way.
Won't you do me the right way?
Where you gonna be tonight?
Cuz I won't stay too long.

Maybe you're the light for me,
When you talk to me it strikes me.
Won't somebody help me?
Cuz I don't feel too strong.

Was there something that I said?
Was there something that I did?
Or the combination I both that did me end?

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say.
You know that some of us spin again,
When you do you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me.
And I hate the thought finally been erased.
Baby that's the best of me.

Everything's behind you,
But the whole place signs besides you.
Living in the moment.
Have I wasted all your time?

Was there something that I said?
Was there something that I did?
Or the combination I both that did me end?

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say.
You know that some of us spin again,
When you do you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me,
And I hate the thought finally been erased.
Baby that's the best of me.
Baby that's the best of me.

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say.
You know that someone those spin again,
When you do you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me.
And I hate the thought finally been erased.
Baby that's the best of me.

- Best of Me by Daniel Powter -


Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me

For you...

What Every Woman Should Know

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. or a charming Inn in the woods.... when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...
~ Pamela Redmond Satran

Silence.

Unbelievable!

So many questions i wanted to ask, so many things i wanted to say...
Yet, are all summarized with a few minutes of s i l e n c e .

Courage. :(

Take care, alright?

Book Making

Sometimes, i really don't know how can i help. So i spent one whole night, making a motivation book, hopefully it can always be there to motivate you when you need a boost of strength. Went all over the places to search for quotes, flipped through the bible to search for powerful bible verses to encourage you. I just wanna help out, i wanna do something to help out... :) Do something i could...

Remember...

♥

Love is Life. ;-)

♥

Hello October!

Hello October, it has been a while!!! I've never expected i would abandon the blog this long. I thought of recording down every life's wonderful, or sad happenings. At least there is something for me to read on my life. Or at least i could inspire people through my life. But, really terribly sorry. I was so busy with things. :(

Anyway, gonna poof again.


Before that, i want to say this:

I really thank God for all the things i have received so freely for Him, and all the times He has forgiven me. :) The awesome friends and people He put into my life. They way He makes people connected to one another - through family, siblings, friendship, bananaboat *wink to my banana partner*, special relationship, special friends... and all. :) God is indeed good. He has His plans.

Keep trusting God!

RESPECT

Respect is a lesson that everyone should learn
Respect must be given before an expected return
Respect is something that’s given for free
Respect is about us and never about me
Respect is the basis on which relationships are founded
Respect is the anchor that keeps a person well grounded
Respect builds the character and defines who we are
Respect sets the standard and raises the bar
Respect is magnanimous and helps to fulfill
Respect is the partner that sits with good will
Respect is like honey so sweet it’s perceived
Respect a taste to savour for when it’s received

Create Date : Monday, July 06, 2009
Don Wilson

Why is it so difficult? RESPECT. That's the only thing i ask from you.

Trust.

Actually,
sometimes you really just gotta believe what you feel.
and have faith. :)

Glad that everything is crystal clear now. :)

Thanks and sorry! :))))

Darling, please be true...

I just wonder if what i'm feeling now is true. Sometimes, i felt the strong urge to ask, what actually the whole thing is about. However, everytime, i was held back by myself, asking, 'shouldn't you have faith, girl?' But what i've seen and heard now really told me otherwise. I started to doubt this feeling. I started to doubt if everything was true.

What i know,
what i don't know,
what i choose to know,
what others know,
what others made me know...

What i believe,
what i don't believe,
what i choose to believe,
what others believe,
what others made me believe...

It feels like i'm outside the picture, yet in the picture, somehow.
It feels like i'm painting the picture too, but not knowing every detail that we've painted.

There's just some part left unexplained. Do we need to clarify it?
How does it feel when you are in the picture yet when people are talking about the picture, you know nothing at all?
It feels exactly like you are actually out of the picture right?

What you've just made me believe, you have crushed it again with your own actions.
Darling, please be true.

Holding hands.

You hold it,
not because you like holding it.
You hold it,
because you want to hold it forever.

Hold it tight,
not because you are afraid of losing it.
Hold it tight,
because you know you will hold it everytime it needs you.

So will you?

Hello August!

Wow, life's been like so busy, so busy! I can't believe it, it's August already! Lots of things happened lately. Good as well as bad, but God made them all end well... :) Learnt a lot of things. Perhaps i will try sharing it here this Friday. :)


Was it God talking to me? Hmmm. It came up so suddenly, like out of nowhere. But it somehow answered the question i've been struggling. God, is that the answer?

Thank you, dear... ♥