bee wings.

Friday . 12th March 2010

Sigh. I just can't take off my bee wings......yet!

I wonder, when, WHEN can i take them off and have a real good holiday. :( I thought i would be free after my exam finished. But, i was wrong - totally absolutely wrong! Life is getting busier and more packed. At times, feel like i really can't cope anymore. I'm at the verge already!! I need to de-stress!!!

Exam just ended. Hooray......WAIT FIRST. It's too early for that. The sad thing is, the really really sad thing is - it also symbolizes my busy life's starting. Ahh, i would rather sit for exams everyday! Seriously. I don't mind at all. Actually i am supposed to go back to school tomorrow morning for dancing practice but i cannot. Amy and her friends are here in Kuching, gotta meet up somehow. I've already missed the first night with them due to exams. (Should have gone out actually.)

Tomorrow morning: outing with Amy, Tit & friends. (still planning) Afternoon: meeting at church for songs and worship night, or something about that (i still don't have a clear picture yet what is it about.)

Sunday morning: gonna teach Sunday school teens. Afternoon: meeting at main church regarding the camp from 17-20/04/2010 at Camp Pueh.

Monday + Tuesday: going back to school to work on our exhibition's display on a mega book fair. 118 schools are coming over. My goodness. Lots of work to do. (btw, i'm bringing Gracie to school along on that book fair.)

Wed-Sat : Youth Camp at Camp Pueh.

Then...school starts again.

27th March: Scholastic Book Fair
5-9/04/2010 : Language Week (we are the organizing team)
7-9/04/2010 : Language Camp

May : Dramatization of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing.

2 assignments due after holiday. SOOOO many things to do. Feel like crying. Can i, can i, say quit now? I'm really tired of being busy. I'm frustrated over the things we actually don't have to do but are forced to do. Don't push me to go any further anymore.

and i'm disappointed at something which hurts me a lot. You. I don't know why. I don't understand why. But if i did something wrong that offended you, please just let me know instead of replying me...coldly. Why are you replying text messages so shortly nowadays? It doesn't feel good. Why is it not like before anymore? It's getting colder and colder. Just because of the reply, it really makes me wonder if i should reply again. The conversations that we enjoyed last time, can we have it again? Was it because of something that i have done? Tell me ok? Look, i'm trying my best to keep it going already, but it's a mutual thing. I hope you understand that now, i am not posting this here to tell the whole world how bad i think you have been. I just can't stand it anymore, cuz the changes i feel from you, are hurting me a lot. I wanted to let you know how i feel, but i don't know if i should. So i just post it here, if you know it's referring to you. Do something. Tell me if it's my problem.



What i have learnt tonight:
1. Don't struggle anymore. No matter how hard you struggle, you can only be and stay as what you are at now.
2. After you have made a decision, DON'T REGRET. (don't give others a chance to throw you any pity expression.)
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and more.

By the way. Morning outing canceled. No more Rafflesia :'(