Relationships?

What do humans want from a relationship? Some people want companionship; some people want love; some people want security; some people want acceptance; some people want fame…what do you want?

Words worth.

If we could measure the worth of each word we utter, how much do your words worth?

illusion.

i think it was just a funny thought or drama ive made myself believe.

it's just nothing. 

Oh Lord, let me focus on You...

Exams are finally over!

Exams are finally over! I have many plans for this holiday! I hope i could do them all. :)

Well, May has been a very special month for me. I was really busy with a lot of work at campus and preparing for exam at the same time. At first everything sounded like crazy and almost impossible to handle. But hey, i did it! Campus work, tuitions, revisions, sports. :) Well done, girl!

I haven't really spent time dating God lately. I'm getting demotivated. Well, it's time to get back on track! I'm really praying for a spiritual partner whom i could discuss the Bible with, talk about God, serve God, share God's wondrous work... Or sometimes we could even make trips just to find different places where we could sit down, talk, play songs, sing about God's love. I really want to grow in Christ.

Just few days ago, Rev Augustine passed me a book. The title is "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". I was rather shocked looking at the title. Why that book? We talked awhile and he said he wanted to help me in finding the Mr Right whom God has prepared for me. He hopes the book can be a guide for me to find the right one. And this really amazed me, i was praying to God that i want to start a relationship right from the start. Well, just look at what God has already done for me! I don't know who God has prepared, but i do want to prepare myself and be the right girl for him. :) Rev Augustine suggested for me to list down the characteristics i want in my Mr Right and pray over it. I remember i wrote down 30 criteria last time, i'm gonna dig them out. The book is in Chinese, i don't really read Chinese book nowadays so i think i will go get the English version sometime soon.

I already have plans for my holidays! I have them planned long before today. This holiday will be packed with giving tuition and tennis trainings. The tennis tournament will be on 22nd June, right after the holidays, and exactly one month from now! Oh, and i also wanna do more reading! I haven't been able to pick up a book, and enjoy reading it. I miss reading good books and staying up all night just to finish it or...staying up all night crying! Yes, i can get very emotional with wonderful stories.

I need to work extra hard this holiday to earn more money. Uncle Pajero was badly injured the other day because i knocked a big school bus. My mind was so unfocused that time, thinking of all the work i need to do and was doing my planning in my mind. Yeah, that is the bad thing about multi-tasking! I actually cried that day because i thought i would lose Uncle Pajero. He was sent to the workshop and he came home today! He has some ugly marks all over, but i was just so glad and pleased he is back home again. :) I will drive very careful next time. I will always leave home early so i won't make him speed on the road. He is getting old, i shall take care of him.

Basically, that's the update for now. :)

Thank God for a special month. Thank God for His protection. Thank God for His guidance throughout this month. :)

I am a LOSER!

WHY???

Sigh, I feel so tiny, so belittled now. Where's all my self-worth? What am i actually good at?

Tuition? Yes, i have been giving tuitions, and i thought i mix with children well, but i messed up my final observation. And i only did well today! But what's the point? haih. I put in so much effort too. Why did everything turn out like this?

Leader? What did you do??

Reap what you sow? AS IF. In reality, your speech determines your effort, not actions. It's so unfair.

Can't you? Can't you have a bit more of confidence??? What are you afraid of?

But too bad everything just made me look bad today!

Why did i feel like everything turned its back to me today??
And made me feel so tiny and useless.

Haiihhhhhhhh...
feel so heart-broken.

Day 1: Heart attack!

This is the first day of practicum and it felt very scary because it's like starting from zero. However, I'm grateful that I have a very experienced, friendly and helpful mentor. I think i will learn a lot from her. She was awarded the "Guru Cemerlang" award. I'm so blessed!

Good news and also the bad news - I will start teaching tomorrow!

April will be a busy week for the school. They will be having their Sports Day on the 23rd. According to the panitia of English language, there will be an exhibition in conjunction with the English month. So we'll be helping out. ;) Bring it on! 

I will be taking two classes of Primary 4 for English. I have just done with the lesson plans for the two classes. And now, i'm gonna work on the teaching aids.

I have thought of an interesting introduction activity with the pupils and i hope it can help to get to know them better!

Take a peek at what's happening tomorrow!

I don't think i could write in detail what happened today although i really wish to. I'm so drained out now and my bones were cracking when i stretched myself. I have been sitting for too long. Well, i must go for some sports one of these days. It's so unhealthy!

Okie, looking forward to tomorrow! ^_^
Thank God it's in the morning session!

Hello April!

April is here! 

Today, i was supposed to go report at the school even knowing it's holiday today. Fiona and I just wanted to try if the school was open and perhaps take a glimpse of the school so we will be more mentally prepared for our practicum. However, the school was locked. So we continued our plan to grab our breakfast and then to Popular to spend her RM250 1Malaysia voucher. We spent a long time there, practically flipping through every English books on the shelf! We picked books published in Singapore because the English standard is really good. I personally support Singapore-published books and i've been using them since young and even using them for my English tuition. The only thing is that teachers/parents need to explain or adapt the content as some of the books are mostly based on Singapore's context. They are really good materials to raise the English standard. I couldn't resist myself to buy more books. Good books are worth to buy and keep!

By the time we're done with buying books, it was already noon. I didn't want to go back home that soon. Fiona didn't mind accompanying me as we had nothing to do, there's nothing we can prepare for practicum. Plus, the first week is basically just to get to know the school community and surrounding and perhaps carry out some observations. So...a crazy (very very crazy) plan popped into my head - "Malls-Hopping"! From Boulevard, we went to The Spring, then to CityOne... Goodness! We really had nothing better to do! In the end, we were both dead tired. Yes, window shopping can be very very draining! Well, at least we will hit the sack early tonight and have sufficient energy for tomorrow!

There's a boutique in CityOne called "Moonriver", the dresses are all from Singapore and they are really gorgeous and of good quality! The sad thing is they are super expensive! One dress costs around RM199! However, there's a promotion now : RM80 rebate if one purchases two dresses. 

RM199 + RM199 - RM80 = RM318

RM318 for two dresses! I really love the dresses but I don't think i could afford it. :( I have to work for 16 hours to buy two dresses! :( :( :(

By the way, i just found out that this April will be a totally TEACHING month for me! English tuition has resumed, and i would give lil' Vanessa tuition for at least twice a week, not forgetting i have to teach during my practicum. To add on to those, i have to tell stories for Sunday School and it's my turn to teach the upper primary class in Sunday School. Wow wow wow! Well, i really pray that God grant me enough wisdom to manage my time and to teach. :) It's His children i'm serving, and i want to give my very best. 

I wonder what will happen in these four weeks.
I wonder what big or small change i would make in those little hearts.
I wonder...

Dear Father in Heaven, 
Thank You for the chance to touch more hearts by serving You as i teach.
Grant me wisdom, passion, and a heart to teach and change lives.
Guide me, and lead me. Teach me to be humble.
I know wonderful things are going to happen in these four weeks.
I commit every pupils i am going to interact with, the school community and the whole practicum in Your mighty hands.
Thank You, God!
In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.