This morning, i

had a terrible nightmare. :'(

Rabbit. Rare-bit.

You kept chasing after the thing you thought was good, but in the end you found out that you have missed out a lot of other better things along the way. What a miss! :(

Yeah, all of a sudden i just realized this fact. That i was too engrossed in chasing something which doesn't belong to me, and let go of many chances that came knocking on the door. You missed out some wonderful things, wonderful people, wonderful happenings...

Regret? A bit. Yes. I should have...really taken it more seriously. It is a miss.

Life still rolls on, people will move on, happenings will be forgotten... there's no way to go back. Well, unless i have the dagger which Prince Persia, Dastan had.

I wanted to say i really appreciate all the time we spent together.

I let the rare-bit go, Geral! :'( A rabbit that jumps out from the magician's hat. A rare-bit that comes jumping into me.

Why didn't i realize? It's only after such a long run when i found out that i was running for nothing, i finally turn back my head and see what i have missed out along the way.

Too focus is a bad thing.
Too determined is another bad thing.

A day at home.

Agnes's Facebook shout-out:

An inspiring movie is good for the soul! :) Now i'm ready!! Drawing, assignments, house chores, problems and problems, come and i shall beat you down!

Well, i think i kinda got my spirit back. :) And so i started working hard. BUT. It ain't as simple as i thought. :( I slept at 11 something last night, almost 12am. And i woke up around noon too today! TWELVE hours of sleep! :) But still sleepy! Woke up, took bath, took my brunch, idled around, flipped through some newspapers, watched a movie, cried, inspired, sat down, continued my drawing, erased and drew again, erased and drew, sighed...........finally, stopped drawing. I went to prepare dinner instead.

Diced potato + diced chicken + a big onion + pasta sauce + spaghetti + grated cheese = dinner for today!

And do you know, for the whole afternoon, i could only draw TWO people! HOW SLOW THAT WAS! :( But really lar, it's not as easy as i thought, and it's impossible to change my plan now since i've already started it. DRAWING IS SO HARD! :'( Helppp...

I persuaded my dad to let Gracie enroll in a violin class just now. :) Music teachers from ArcoStrings will be going to her school to give violin lessons. How nice that is! I wish i could have the chance too when i was small. So perhaps next time i would be her driver for her lesson. I hopeeeee i won't have any class on Wednesday afternoon. The timetable is still not out yet. Aihh, and talking about violin lessons. =.= I haven't attended mine though i did plan to. The busy college life is such a big blocking stone! :( I just can't spare my time out. I really hope i could play in an orchestra one day, so i really need a certificate on violin. Hmm. That's one of my dreams. But it's kinda hard. Well, i have gotten a green light from both my parents. In fact, they really encourage me to go take up music classes. But then what to do? The only problem is i don't have the time!

Okay, and i've also just participated in a competition. I'm hoping that i would win. :D Then i could get RM50! :) MONEY!

Hmm, i have to say this, though it may sound like it just popped out somewhere out of the blue, but this is what i really wanted everyone to know. I hate to owe people things. So please don't be toooooo nice to me that i would feel that i can't pay you back. And i know, i really can't pay you for what you've done. I sincerely appreciate it, just that, nothing is good when it's in excess.

House chores are really tiring! I remember i told my mom yesterday that i ate too much lately. Well, she was asking me did i lose weight. So she said, "Good. From today onwards, do house chores. They are good exercice." So i am assigned some chores to do. =.= Owkay, i gotta do the laundry (again). And then i have to draw, AGAIN.

T.T

Helpppp...

Oh by the way, i have diarrhoea these few days. I don't know why again. :(

Busy beezy buzzzzzz.

I worked in Four Points Hotel!

Beeep beeeeeeeeep...

UPDATES!

19th MELTA INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE was loads of funnnnn! :) Though the first day i was really a multi-tasking chairperson, it was indeed wonderful to help out and something so grand like this! First day, i was the chairperson, then the photographer, and also the person who distributed the hand outs, andddd finally ran back to the microphone to carry out the QNA session. Super girl, indeed! :) I had the chance to meet people from all around the world and that was the coolest thing! :D Apart from that, there's one Iran lady, a very beautiful and soft-spoken lady came up to me, "I've got two questions to ask you." I was kinda shocked. Shouldn't the questions be directed to the presenter? I thought. Then she said, "First is about your kebaya. It's really beautiful and it suits you well. May i know where can i get a set of this?" HAHAHAHAHA... It's an apple green silk kebaya mom gave to me. :) I could see that she was really interested in getting one, so i promised her i would give her the answer and map tomorrow. However, the second day i was sooo busy running here and there again. When i wanted to look for her during the closing ceremony, i couldn't! I scanned around and around, but there was no sign of her. I approached the committees but they just replied, "Forget it, girl. She must have gone back already. It's just a map anyway. There won't be much problem." But i insisted! Hey, a promise is a promise. I never liked to break any promise. (Well, sometimes, i have to. I know. But if possible, wouldn't it be better to prevent a promise from broken?) At that time i was running around with the map searching for that Iran lady from the leaving crowd. Dad was there to pick me up but i told him i gotta find her. Dad didn't stop me. Instead, he went around with me. Come to think of it, my daddy is indeed a lot better than the adults who asked me to give up. So i went down to the reception counter. This is the last place i could find her. So i went there to check if the lady stays in Four Points Hotel. While waiting for my turn in the queue, dad asked me, "Want a sweet?" Then he gave me a sweet. :') After checking with the counter, they said the lady didn't stay in the hotel. I left out a sigh, told myself, i've tried, there's nothing much i could do now. Just when i turned back and wanted to leave the hotel, the Iran lady entered from the hotel lobby door. I was so overjoyed and rushed to her to pass her the map. She felt so grateful too. You know, it was really a wonderful thing that i kept my promise! :)

And not forgetting, my daddy! :) He was there, with me. :) That's why Mdm Angie said my dad is a sweet dad. Well, HE IS! :D

But then when i came home, aiyah, my little gracie spoiled my lappy. T.T So that's why, "A very good but not a very good day." And that's also why the update of MELTA International Conference was delayed. Cuz i didn't have the familiar set ups to use. =/

Okay, then another interesting thing was, i met an author! I bought his book and got his autograph! FIRST TIME in my life! :) In the workshop he conducted, he asked us to write something associated with feelings, emotions, or anything from a single object. My favourite writing type. haha. I chose 'Photo frame'. I wasn't given a lot of time so i just quickly wrote one. He read it and nodded his head, then looked at me with a smile. You know what, perhaps one day i should write. :) hahaha.

Besides that, another one is about the lucky draw prize. I was writing my name to be put into a big bowl for lucky draw with Fiona and one of my lecturer, Miss Yus. Then before i put in, i said, "I've sprinkled some magic lucky dust." Miss Yus said it's no use. But then in the end, i got one lucky draw prize!!! Hahaha. SO UNBELIEVABLE! I never won anything especially when it comes to lucky draw, guess i wasn't the lucky person. But well, my magic dust worked! After the whole thing ended, i walked out to meet the lecturers. I saw Miss Yus and quickly got up to her and said, "My magic lucky dust worked!" Miss Yus said, "Huh! I don't want to be friend with you." Then i sighed, "But then...i wasn't given a dictionary." Her facial expression changed, "A ha ha ha ha ha..." "Miss Yus!!" haha. It was the wonderful memories too, to draw the lecturers and the students closer, and to foster the relationship. :) Mdm Angie, Mrs Lim, Miss Fraulein and all the other lecturers were so proud of us. :)

Last but not least... THE BUFFET LUNCH at The Eatery Cafe was awesomely satisfying. Ate to our heart content. :) Not bad la, we worked for free, ate for free too! :) Check out my Facebook album to see more photos of the conference, and of course the FOOOOD. :)

The food spelled HEAVEN.

Looked like HEAVEN.

and tasted like HEAVEN.

erm, latest picture of me and my friend. :) My hair is long again. :D

a very lovely effect of flares. :)

There are more photos but the Internet connection was a bit crappy so i gave up uploading.

Broken promises.

Hmmmm. Time is so short, so cruel at times. But sometimes, it turns out to be the best medicine. Oh no! I can't concentrate again. :( But i have to. I don't have much time left.

The kite which has its string cut won't be able to fly back. Perhaps, it's time to let go. Let it go, let it fly, in the world it can be truly happy - in the wide blue sky.

Well, it all started with the first broken promise. Then it continues with a string of broken promises. In the end, they all become empty promises. But now i'm trying my best to hold myself aloof from the source. This time, it's me who has broken the promise.

It's dangerous to simply give promises. It is even dangerous to simply believe in promises. From today onwards, don't simply give me any promises. I do not want to listen. Please don't think that you could give any promises which you think you could fulfill, because it's impossible.



Something else which came across my mind but it's not related to this post:
Don't. please don't waste your time on something which is not worth it. You know the answer, so please don't. I have to say sorry. Because of the wrong words used, the wrong feelings expressed.

i wonder if the kite would drop in front of my feet again.
even if so, should i pick it up?

Demotivated :(

Gossshhhh! I'm feeling very very demotivated. :( Can't seem to set my focus on one thing. My thoughts keep swaying away. I wanted to do a lot of things tonight but i just can't sit down and really do my assignment. In fact, the feeling of not wanting to do anything at all has monopolized me. I, need to do some adjustment to my life! Honestly, i don't know why but i just really don't like it this way. It's too tiring, it's like dragging my tired self to walk through the journey.

The most sickening thing: when your body desperately begs for rest, your mind just can't rest.

That feeling is so extremely awful! T.T If you had this experience before, you'll know.

Oh and i am actually quite mad over something, that's why i changed my mind. You know what, i just wanna say, that's it. :) We'll continue to act like we don't care. I'll forget what i said and what i heard. We'll just be cool with each other.

Geram geram. Too many things to do, in a school holiday which was meant for me to rot at home. Okay, i will get a good night sleep and continue doing tomorrow. No point staying up late. No point.

Life's talk.

I've learnt and realized a lot of things lately. At times, i love it when i think a lot. At times, i just hate it. This time, i got the both feelings.

Struggled. Climbed up. Struggled. Fell. Struggled. Fell. Struggled. Fell. Struggled. Struggled. Pulled through. :)

At times, life tells you this: It's only when you have climbed high enough, you get the most beautiful view.

I'm not saying that this picture is the most beautiful. This thought is actually something i feel lately: When you are tired of your life now, you must not give up. You might wonder where is the wonderful part of life that God wants you to see. Just go a little further, walked a few steps more, climbed a bit more until you reach that point where you could see the beautiful view. It's only when you have climbed high enough, you get the most beautiful view. If you haven't, maybe you haven't reached that point yet. :)

* * *

Yellow.
under a yellow light
in a bottle of tiny white stones.

you know you can't live long
yet you stands up straight to tell the world

even if my life ends tomorrow
even my shadows tell me to bend down
i am still going to stand up straight
and embrace each day as it comes.

* * *

i wish...

i could
put on the fairy's wings,
wave my magic wand,
and sprinkle some magic dust on myself when things go bad.

* * *

When life gives you a cup of vanilla milk, add a sweet vanilla smiley to it. -agneslzh-

When you find something happy in your life, don't just be happy. Add a smiley to it and really enjoy it to the fullest. Some of the the happiness don't stay long, you know.

* * *

in times of solitude,
you realize
you actually have everything.

* * *

告诉自己别傻了