今天，我无意间遇见它，看了看就走了。回头想来找它时，却找不 到了。我来回走了很多遍，希望可以找到它。但是路也走了几十次，就是找不到它了。这时，才突然恍然大悟：原来错过了，就是错过，再想挽回也没有用。虽然有 点伤心，失落，但是我跟自己说若下次再让我遇见它，我会好好地抓紧它，不再错失它了。
想要拥有，就不要错过。
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
小领悟
很多的时候，当我们错过时，就再也没有回头的机会了。
Follow your butterflies!
Follow your butterflies!
Do the thing that gives you the biggest knots in your stomach. Notice what scares you most, then grab life with both sweaty palms.
Do the thing that gives you the biggest knots in your stomach. Notice what scares you most, then grab life with both sweaty palms.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Holiday
Holidays.... NO MORE.
It's supposed to be a CNY break. A break, a BREAK, at least. But no no, still got tasks to do and by the time i realize it, holidays would have ended. Back to school, assignments, homework, researches and ISL. Gah.
When can a holiday be trully a holiday??
When you're dead.
It's supposed to be a CNY break. A break, a BREAK, at least. But no no, still got tasks to do and by the time i realize it, holidays would have ended. Back to school, assignments, homework, researches and ISL. Gah.
When can a holiday be trully a holiday??
When you're dead.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Lord, help me...
I really thought that things were getting slightly better. I thought that I've stepped out of that shadow, but i guess i haven't. And it just doesn't feel good, because it hurts, not the great physical pain but still the psychological agony and torture could hurt you bit by bit, and might eventually devour your soul.
No, this is not the way it should be. But i just can't keep bottling everything inside of me and play a show to everyone else that 'Hey, i'm fine.' (i did think that it would make me look cool because i won't be affected by any unnecessary emotions and feelings, but i am suffering from the hurts it brings) And then, if i say out what i feel inside of me, i would hurt other people. I am caught in a situation where i can't do any of them. I have been trying hard. I have... but it's not enough.
Lord, teach me how to stay strong.
Lord, teach me how to let go and don't hold on to anything from the past.
Lord, teach me and guide me because i need You.
Lord, please hold me when i stumble.
Lord, please pick me up everytime when i fall, or
teach me how to stand up again after each fall.
I can't do this alone, but i could pull through this if i continue to walk closely with You.
Someday, i will walk out of the shadow together with You, holding my hand.
No, this is not the way it should be. But i just can't keep bottling everything inside of me and play a show to everyone else that 'Hey, i'm fine.' (i did think that it would make me look cool because i won't be affected by any unnecessary emotions and feelings, but i am suffering from the hurts it brings) And then, if i say out what i feel inside of me, i would hurt other people. I am caught in a situation where i can't do any of them. I have been trying hard. I have... but it's not enough.
Lord, teach me how to stay strong.
Lord, teach me how to let go and don't hold on to anything from the past.
Lord, teach me and guide me because i need You.
Lord, please hold me when i stumble.
Lord, please pick me up everytime when i fall, or
teach me how to stand up again after each fall.
I can't do this alone, but i could pull through this if i continue to walk closely with You.
Someday, i will walk out of the shadow together with You, holding my hand.
PRAY
Now is already Sunday. The third week of 2011. It's 3am, but i can't sleep. So i was listening to Christian worship songs and someone introduced this. It really touched me. :')
Thinking through
What to do
You're searching every angle and point of view
Good advice, well rehearsed
Only seems to make matters worse
When you're at a dead end
Where can you go?
My friend, there's an answer I know
Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when you're hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray..
The deepest sighs Of the heart
Sometimes it's a struggle when we first start
To wrap our needs up in words
And trust that somehow we will be heard
Draw near, and know you are loved
God hears, and his heart is touched
Pray for the strength you're needin'
To go on believin'
No matter what you face
You'll have the wisdom and the grace to...
Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when you're hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray.
Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when you're hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray...
Pray, when the road is steep.
Pray, when you're hope gets weak.
Know the Father hears through.
The silence and the tears you.
Pray, when you don't know how.
Pray, heaven's waiting now.
And Jesus is just a breath away.
Pray...
This song really touched me. :')
The easiest, but the most powerful. :)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Back to school!
This is a song, la la la la, Agnes's song.
Gosh! The tune is so catchy that it got right into my mind, and continued jumping inside there. When i feel jovial, i will start singing it. hoho. This is a song, lalalala, Agnes's song! :)
Alright, suddenly feel like writing an entry. :) hehe. So about life, yeah it's fine so far. Give thanks! :) Bro went to NS, sis went to KL with friends, so there left mom, dad, Gracie and me. :) Hope everyone is doing fine.
First week of lecture wasn't that bad. However, i faced a lil difficulty adjusting myself to the brand new syllabus of the Degree year. It's so different and i am now still blur! =/ This Degree year is something i didn't come to expect. Well, attending lectures suddenly turns out less fun than before. :( No more Mrs Lim's LDS lessons. :( No more Miss Yus's fun LDV lessons. :( No more Miss Hannah's Social Studies lessons. :( No more, no more Mdm Angie's wonderful ES lessons! :'( Everything that i'm going to study in my Degree year became so serious. Literature doesn't give me the fun like before because now we're studying literature theories. Woah. All the serious stuff. I want Shakespeare, Why a Caged Bird Sings, The Mango Season, Just the Way Things Are, The Worn Path, Two Kinds...
But of course, it is not that bad too! :) I have some really good lecturers, humorous ones, cheerful ones, cute ones. hehe. It's not that bad after all. :) Yeah, the lecturers and lectures are not bad. The tutorial and ISLs are! X( Even though i happily said that the timetable for this sem seems to be very free, now i start to feel that it's totally the other way round! Lectures are less than the Foundation course, but the homework, the research are way more than last time. My part time job... :( My money! $
For last week, most of my afternoons were filled with tennis. Tennis! And hey! My partner said that i improved! :) Yay! Gotta train harder! By the way, my beloved got badly hurt the other day. I wanted to release the tension/disappointment/sadness (whatever feeling it was) after i received my result slip. So i played with my partner and guess what? The strings broke! That was really releasing tension! :P Then i got myself a substitute 'boyfriend' while my darling was still in the hospital. And i just fetched my darling back from hospital two days ago, he still looks handsome as he always is. :D Both rackets belonged to my daddy. hoho. I got two rackets now! ^^ But now, my love and i are facing a big challenge! The weather! It's been raining days and nights for like two days already! :( SAD! I miss the sunshine! I really wanna go out and play! So i'm really really really hoping that it won't rain later. Wanna go out stretch some muscles and sweat!! :D
Another thing, this Saturday i was supposed to go to Mount Singai for a retreat organized by my college's Christian Fellowship. But it has been put off to July. :( I was really anticipating for it! But never mind, July then. :) Yay!
Gosh, just received a call from Swinburne Debaters' Club. A debate is coming up, but i'm not so keen in joining anymore. Don't feel like going through those mentally stressed out moments again. :(
ARGH! And it started to rain! Again! :'(
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Sigh.
Got my result slip.
The result is not so satisfying. I feel that i could do better if i was feeling better. If i wasn't feeling super groggy and dizzy because of the illness and the drug, everything would be better, so much better. Did so well for the other three papers... just that paper! :( it screwed up everything! :(
:(
But to look at the bright sight (for awhile) , i did so much more in that exam week. Got 2A and 1A-. :) At least, Mdm Angie's paper i got an A for her! :) And while everyone else was studying for exam that afternoon, i was in the school helping her to tidy the Pismp room. So i think it's considered very good already, for that paper.
The paper which pulled down everything and marked an ugly grade to my result, why oh why? :(
:(
The result is not so satisfying. I feel that i could do better if i was feeling better. If i wasn't feeling super groggy and dizzy because of the illness and the drug, everything would be better, so much better. Did so well for the other three papers... just that paper! :( it screwed up everything! :(
:(
But to look at the bright sight (for awhile) , i did so much more in that exam week. Got 2A and 1A-. :) At least, Mdm Angie's paper i got an A for her! :) And while everyone else was studying for exam that afternoon, i was in the school helping her to tidy the Pismp room. So i think it's considered very good already, for that paper.
The paper which pulled down everything and marked an ugly grade to my result, why oh why? :(
:(
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