Lord, help me...

I really thought that things were getting slightly better. I thought that I've stepped out of that shadow, but i guess i haven't. And it just doesn't feel good, because it hurts, not the great physical pain but still the psychological agony and torture could hurt you bit by bit, and might eventually devour your soul.

No, this is not the way it should be. But i just can't keep bottling everything inside of me and play a show to everyone else that 'Hey, i'm fine.' (i did think that it would make me look cool because i won't be affected by any unnecessary emotions and feelings, but i am suffering from the hurts it brings) And then, if i say out what i feel inside of me, i would hurt other people. I am caught in a situation where i can't do any of them. I have been trying hard. I have... but it's not enough.

Lord, teach me how to stay strong.
Lord, teach me how to let go and don't hold on to anything from the past.
Lord, teach me and guide me because i need You.
Lord, please hold me when i stumble.
Lord, please pick me up everytime when i fall, or
teach me how to stand up again after each fall.
I can't do this alone, but i could pull through this if i continue to walk closely with You.
Someday, i will walk out of the shadow together with You, holding my hand.