I always wanted to sleep early, but i always can't. I'm now stealing a bit of my time to sprinkle something here. Suddenly feel the urge to write, though i didn't feel like writing anything too personal. But well, here it goes.
My course doesn't go too well as i expected. Well, there is certainly a huge gap between Foundation level and Degree level. Foundation was fun, but the beginning of Degree year has already given me a hard time. At first i told myself to hold on and persevere. However, it's been almost two months and i still can't adapt quite well to it. And now, i feel like learning has become more like something i have to do for the sake to pass the exam. Where's the meaning in learning? But don't worry, i'm still searching for it. I hope i won't give up that easily, because whatever that i feel now makes me really wanna surrender. To add on to the problems i am already facing right now, here came all the assignments which need to be handed in within a month. These assignments are no longer like the one we had, where i really enjoyed doing them especially Literature. Now, everything is more academic. Take for instance, the contents required are deeper and the format of the assignments became so fixed. I missed making scrapbook! :'(
I feel like i'm breaking anytime soon. I hope that i'm in my bed now. I hope i could sleep early. There's too much inner struggles in me. I don't wanna fight anymore. And another thing, i've been breathing for 19 years and almost 2 months, there's just one thing i never really learnt - time management. I'm too busy for things going on and on and on. :(
Anyways, lately i am really a lil bit stressed out so i did the thing i always did - to go closer to God literally. I want myself to be influenced and encouraged by seeing how others live in Him. How much faith they have in Him in times of distress. I just need to see Him through some other people sometimes. I just came back from a gathering at Dr Wong's house. I heard some sharing about how those young people in the Old Testament kept their faith in God. Daniel and his friends, how they overcame the temptations, and finally glorified God with their strong and firm belief in Him. Some sharing here...
Many times when we pray, we waited for a very long time until we finally gave in to temptations which are luring us. Actually, when we pray, God answers. The answers will be: Yes, No, or Wait. Often, we cannot wait that long enough to see what He actually reserved for us. Well, i think now i have finally submitted my life to Him again, and let Him have the steering wheel of my life. He will bring me to place He has reserved for me long time ago. Lord, i believe You have heard my prayer. I will wait until the day You show me Your answer. I will wait. :)
Apart from that, I know i have not been a very excellent example to glorify Him for the past, but i hope i will be, starting from this moment. I know i have said words which hurt people, or behaved the way i shouldn't have. But for now, i just want to set my focus on Him and please Him alone. I will learn to forgive people as how He has forgiven me. At times we are deeply emotionally crushed when people developed a negative perception about us when we are actually doing the right thing (but perhaps just some flaws at the wrong timing). But what i have learnt is that, we don't live to please the world. We are here, to please God, to live in His way, to love Him, to show people about Him. As long as we are doing the right thing, there's nothing to be bothered when things like that happened. The main lesson is, we learn from it and move on. At the end of the day, God judges us based on our whole life, not just part of the life where we made a mistake.
Another thing, we really need a spiritual friend(s). They will provide the support we need when we feel weak. I'm grateful that i have found brothers and sisters in Christ who are always there for me. Well, that's what these special brothers and sisters are for - to cheer each other on in faith when life gets hard. Sometimes they will just be the ones who remind you about God when you almost forget about Him.
So yeah, that's what i wanted to share. It's past 1am now and i need to sleep now. Lecture starts at 830am until 415pm. After that would be tennis and a CNY gathering at school. It's gonna be another hectic day. Lord, thank You for today, and hope You'll continue to guide me throughout my day tomorrow. :)
Know your focus.
Model: My Gracie. :)
My course doesn't go too well as i expected. Well, there is certainly a huge gap between Foundation level and Degree level. Foundation was fun, but the beginning of Degree year has already given me a hard time. At first i told myself to hold on and persevere. However, it's been almost two months and i still can't adapt quite well to it. And now, i feel like learning has become more like something i have to do for the sake to pass the exam. Where's the meaning in learning? But don't worry, i'm still searching for it. I hope i won't give up that easily, because whatever that i feel now makes me really wanna surrender. To add on to the problems i am already facing right now, here came all the assignments which need to be handed in within a month. These assignments are no longer like the one we had, where i really enjoyed doing them especially Literature. Now, everything is more academic. Take for instance, the contents required are deeper and the format of the assignments became so fixed. I missed making scrapbook! :'(
I feel like i'm breaking anytime soon. I hope that i'm in my bed now. I hope i could sleep early. There's too much inner struggles in me. I don't wanna fight anymore. And another thing, i've been breathing for 19 years and almost 2 months, there's just one thing i never really learnt - time management. I'm too busy for things going on and on and on. :(
Anyways, lately i am really a lil bit stressed out so i did the thing i always did - to go closer to God literally. I want myself to be influenced and encouraged by seeing how others live in Him. How much faith they have in Him in times of distress. I just need to see Him through some other people sometimes. I just came back from a gathering at Dr Wong's house. I heard some sharing about how those young people in the Old Testament kept their faith in God. Daniel and his friends, how they overcame the temptations, and finally glorified God with their strong and firm belief in Him. Some sharing here...
Many times when we pray, we waited for a very long time until we finally gave in to temptations which are luring us. Actually, when we pray, God answers. The answers will be: Yes, No, or Wait. Often, we cannot wait that long enough to see what He actually reserved for us. Well, i think now i have finally submitted my life to Him again, and let Him have the steering wheel of my life. He will bring me to place He has reserved for me long time ago. Lord, i believe You have heard my prayer. I will wait until the day You show me Your answer. I will wait. :)
Apart from that, I know i have not been a very excellent example to glorify Him for the past, but i hope i will be, starting from this moment. I know i have said words which hurt people, or behaved the way i shouldn't have. But for now, i just want to set my focus on Him and please Him alone. I will learn to forgive people as how He has forgiven me. At times we are deeply emotionally crushed when people developed a negative perception about us when we are actually doing the right thing (but perhaps just some flaws at the wrong timing). But what i have learnt is that, we don't live to please the world. We are here, to please God, to live in His way, to love Him, to show people about Him. As long as we are doing the right thing, there's nothing to be bothered when things like that happened. The main lesson is, we learn from it and move on. At the end of the day, God judges us based on our whole life, not just part of the life where we made a mistake.
Another thing, we really need a spiritual friend(s). They will provide the support we need when we feel weak. I'm grateful that i have found brothers and sisters in Christ who are always there for me. Well, that's what these special brothers and sisters are for - to cheer each other on in faith when life gets hard. Sometimes they will just be the ones who remind you about God when you almost forget about Him.
So yeah, that's what i wanted to share. It's past 1am now and i need to sleep now. Lecture starts at 830am until 415pm. After that would be tennis and a CNY gathering at school. It's gonna be another hectic day. Lord, thank You for today, and hope You'll continue to guide me throughout my day tomorrow. :)
Know your focus.Model: My Gracie. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment