Darling, please be true...

I just wonder if what i'm feeling now is true. Sometimes, i felt the strong urge to ask, what actually the whole thing is about. However, everytime, i was held back by myself, asking, 'shouldn't you have faith, girl?' But what i've seen and heard now really told me otherwise. I started to doubt this feeling. I started to doubt if everything was true.

What i know,
what i don't know,
what i choose to know,
what others know,
what others made me know...

What i believe,
what i don't believe,
what i choose to believe,
what others believe,
what others made me believe...

It feels like i'm outside the picture, yet in the picture, somehow.
It feels like i'm painting the picture too, but not knowing every detail that we've painted.

There's just some part left unexplained. Do we need to clarify it?
How does it feel when you are in the picture yet when people are talking about the picture, you know nothing at all?
It feels exactly like you are actually out of the picture right?

What you've just made me believe, you have crushed it again with your own actions.
Darling, please be true.

On the verge...

on the verge of breaking down...

Listen girl, no one can always be there for you.
So you gotta be strong yourself.
So you gotta be independent!
Do not ever ever rely on anyone else to comfort you cuz people may turn away...
people may get busy...
and people may change.

Listen girl, no one can always remain the same like the first day you know them.
As time passes, some feelings just disappeared.
As time passes, some things are just never the same anymore.

Listen girl, after you have cried, quickly wipe your tears away
for you shall not show that you are weak
especially in front of those people who have let you down.
Show them you are independent, you are strong on your own.
You must stand up, lift your chin up, and continue to walk proudly.
For you are you, the strong you, don't let anything else shatter your confidence.

There's no need for any sympathetic ears,
or an understanding shoulder...
You just have to be strong,
and fight on...

Hello September!

Oh.......... Time flies! It's now SEPTEMBER already! And my holiday is almost over. Time to go back to those hectic school days. :(

Hmmm, today i'm feeling a bit down. It feels like all the things just don't fall into places. Things that i'm supposed to do, things that i'm supposed to plan... I just can't seem to get myself tuned to the working mode. And to add on to the stress, the time is clicking. tic toc tic toc... And i tried, but i really feel that i'm very limited. I dont seem to have any good ideas for the things i should plan.

And there's another problem...another problem, another one, another one... :(

God, teach me how to overcome all this.
Give me strength and teach me how to do things i do not know how to do.
Be with me and walk through all this together...
Assure me when i feel weak and helpless...
Thank You, Lord...
Amen...

Was sick... and now healed!

I actually had a lot of things to update, but i didn't know where to start off with. Life's been very busy, but i guess i really live it to the fullest! :) Praise the Lord it has been a really blessed month in achieving a lot of miracles with Him. True. Many times, i thought that i was just too weak to be used by Him, but He made me realize that it's Him whom makes me strong everytime. So, it doesn't really matter whether you are strong or weak before He calls you for a mission. :) Let His power fill you and then you will be strong, not strong by yourself, but you will be strong IN HIM.

Yesterday early morning i had a painful gastric attack which in the end turned out to be food poisoning, a very serious one though. I almost got hospitalized! But praise the Lord, it's just a two-hour pain, and thank Him too because my parents were around. If not i think i would die. :( After that painful experience in the morning, i had fever in the afternoon until night. What a combo eh? Then later at night, my stubbornness finally surrendered and i went to see the doctor. I was diagnosed with food poisoning. =S

One thing i would like to share about this whole incident is what my friend told me. He told me to take care of myself, because it's God's temple. It's almost as if a sudden strike which stroke right through me. YES, my body is God's temple, if i always take it for granted, it's actually destroying His temple. Perhaps, i was just too busy (and perhaps, stressed out, a bit) with my assignments, and tonnes of extra work to do at the school that i pushed myself too hard. And just when the holiday started, i got sick, a terrible one. Yeah, it's time to spend more time for myself. :)

Basically yesterday was all about sleeping, waking up, walking around groggily, then back to sleeping again... yep. THANK GOD today i'm feeling so much so much better! :)

Okay, i'm ready for my holiday! Come on!

Just remember: I care.

When you think you're alone
In the middle of the night,
When you've just had an awful dream
And you're shivering with fright,
You lie there alone and scared
And wonder if anyone cares.
If you look into your heart
You'll always find Me there.
Sometimes life is just too hard
And you need to get away.
You need someone to talk to
Who will listen to what you say,
Someone who will let you know
That they'll always be there.
When you can't find anyone
Just remember that I care.
When there is nowhere else to go
You can always come to Me
I promise that I'll be there
In your greatest hour of need.
I'm sure you can find Me
If you take the time for prayer.
When the whole world seems to hate you
Just remember that I care.

This is something i read in the Internet last week and i wanted to show. :) Just as simple as a reminder for you that i care, but it means a lot more than that.

Thank You, Lord...

Holding hands.

You hold it,
not because you like holding it.
You hold it,
because you want to hold it forever.

Hold it tight,
not because you are afraid of losing it.
Hold it tight,
because you know you will hold it everytime it needs you.

So will you?

Hello August!

Wow, life's been like so busy, so busy! I can't believe it, it's August already! Lots of things happened lately. Good as well as bad, but God made them all end well... :) Learnt a lot of things. Perhaps i will try sharing it here this Friday. :)


Was it God talking to me? Hmmm. It came up so suddenly, like out of nowhere. But it somehow answered the question i've been struggling. God, is that the answer?

Thank you, dear... ♥